Episode 169: I Want to Live a Life that No One Can Doubt God is Real with Brooke Andersen

Welcome to today’s episode of Living Beyond the Shadow of Doubt.

Today I have Brooke Anderson with me, another of my fellow JOA Collective members, Mosaic Network members, and fellow author. Brooke has a miraculous story. I am so grateful to you for stepping into your brave, courageous self yet again and coming to share this with us today.

Thank you for having me.

It’s been a long road — the little of it that I know. Let’s just start — if you’ll take a moment, introduce yourself and share a bit about your background.

Yeah, okay. I’m Brooke Anderson. I am a wife of 13 and a half years and a mama to four boys. Love them to pieces — wild, wild children. I joke that this is my zoo, and these are my monkeys. Each of them are really miracles, and we can get into that. My husband and I were both raised LDS.

We didn’t really question it growing up. I wasn’t exactly sleepwalking through my childhood, but I had so much faith in everyone around me. Everyone I looked up to believed in it, so I thought, this must be everything they say it is.

So, your parents and grandparents — were they also of the LDS faith?

My dad’s side was. My mother was a “pioneer” in her words — she was born and raised in England, joined the LDS church at 17, and is the only family member on her side. My faith journey kind of rocked her world because she took great pride in being the first on her side to join. And I was the first child to find my own way.

I was raised in Utah County mostly. My neighbors, my friends — I think I only knew like two people who weren’t LDS.

I married my husband at 18. That really wasn’t because of the church, but my husband is 8 ½ years older than me. He jokes he decided to get me young to train me, and I say that backfired. We met at my very first young single adult activity. He left that barn dance saying he was going to marry me, and within 24 hours I had what I call a spiritual slap in the face — God made it so clear he was to be my husband. I texted him that night that I was going to marry him. He replied, “Okay.”

We were married in the temple 9 weeks and 6 days after meeting. I had been told there was slim to no chance I’d have babies, so we weren’t all that precautious on our honeymoon — and left it pregnant. One year after meeting, we were holding our 6-day-old baby.

We made it a tradition to tell our love story to our kids. Every time, I’d think, “I don’t deserve this man,” but God knew. He’s been my rock through everything.

Fast-forward — your status with your faith has shifted. Can you share about that time?

We have a unique story because neither of us was looking for something else. We were both strong in our LDS faith. I had just given birth to our third son in three years — we had a 3-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a 3-week-old. We took two weeks off church, which was unusual for me.

At my son’s birthday party, my husband’s mom mentioned a kitchen fire. My husband, a former fireman, wanted to see it, so the next day we dropped by unannounced. She admitted she hadn’t been to church in four months — shocking because she was “letter of the law” LDS.

That led to a 6-hour conversation. For the first 3 hours, my husband took the lead, asking her why she no longer believed. I was cleaning soot from her cabinets, sneaking glances at him as he looked at me wide-eyed, and I’d gesture to slow down — this was the foundation of our family. But I decided, if this faith is true, it can withstand questioning.

Near the end of those 3 hours, I started asking questions. I said I wanted to speak to a Christian woman my mother-in-law knew — she came over with her husband, who was a pastor. The next 3 hours were me comparing LDS beliefs with Christianity. I realized I didn’t believe in the same God as the Mormons — the God I prayed to had no beginning or end, which is Biblical, not LDS doctrine.

Ten days later, I was saved. I told God, “I don’t know what my future looks like or what this will do to my relationships, but I want to live a life that no one can doubt you are real when they look at it.”

My fourth son was a surprise — our “God-planned baby.” My pregnancies were extremely difficult, so I was devastated when I found out. Labor stalled until my midwife had me write lines: “I am pregnant with my fourth child. I am in active labor. I am a mom of four.” He was born in an amazing birth, but 10 days later I experienced postpartum psychosis for the first time.

For 18 months, I struggled — paranoia, hallucinations, suicidal thoughts. I feared I might harm my baby, even though I didn’t want to. I was hospitalized, went to therapy once or twice a week, worked with a psychiatrist, and gradually, before his second birthday, I felt it all lift.

In September 2019, I realized for the first time I truly loved and bonded with him. Two weeks later, I began experiencing headaches, dizziness, blackouts, slurred speech, and loss of feeling in my limbs. A doctor suspected Chiari malformation. By the time I left his office, I couldn’t move my feet.

At the hospital, they dismissed it as postpartum depression — but I knew better. I researched, self-diagnosed, and ordered a hard neck brace. It “unkinked” my neck — my neck had collapsed, cutting off communication in my body. Slowly I regained movement and speech.

U.S. surgeons turned down my case, so I sent my records to Barcelona to the surgeon I’d hoped for all along. He accepted, and in January 2020, during COVID, I had a skull-cervical fusion.

I wrote a book about it — Through Fire and Grace — because you can’t live through all of this and just go back to normal. I learned my value isn’t in what I do but in who I am, and that God’s love isn’t earned.

Toward the beginning, you told God you wanted to live a life no one could doubt was His work — and you have.

Absolutely. These trials have become my fuel. You can let your hardships weigh you down, or you can build a bonfire so big no one can miss it. I’m choosing to live fully in my purpose and not let others’ opinions stop me. Reverse the question “Who am I to do this?” to “Who am I not to?”

It’s been an honor to chat with you, Brooke. I’ll link your book and contact info in the show notes.

Quick fun questions:

Favorite book? – Growing up, Goodnight Mister Tom.
Introvert or extrovert? – Very strong introvert.
Morning lark or night owl? – Traditionally morning, right now neither.
Celebrity crush? – None.
Go-to beverage? – Still water, coffee, or Dr Pepper.
Furthest travel? – England, Scotland, Wales, and Spain.

Thank you, Brooke, for sharing your story, your presence, and your insights.