Episode 126: COMPLEXITY, Stages of Faith Part 2

For this episode I am going to focus on stage two faith, or COMPLEXITY. This is the second stage of 4 according to B. McLaren author of FAD. In episode #124 I discussed the first stage of faith, SIMPLICITY — the stage that we are born into, where we are taught by authority figures what is right from wrong, good from bad, the people to associate with and those who we stay away from. This is such a formative stage, believing, trusting stage of faith that most do not question what is told them. In some cases they may see it as absolute Until…. Something happens in life that kicks them out of this comfortable stage of duality. AS Brian says in FAD “ From the age of 2 to 12 or so Stage One works pretty well for most of us. Up until this point Stage One may have felt like a school to help us learn the basic morals necessary of independence but now it starts to feel like detention, a cage, even a prison. >>>The only way out is doubt.” PG 47 Then enters stage 2 COMPLEXITY. I pondered on this a lot; here’s some of examples of situations I came up with that would push someone from SIMPLICITY to COMPLEXITY. These are actual true things that have happened to people in my life. I have sterilized the info to protect identities. Personal examples of stage 2 – Divorce of close family members Loved one marries an individual who is not a member of your faith of origin Drug and/or alcohol use of fellow parishioners Learning a family member gay (Tyson), Stake pres growing up got a divorce, bishop cheated on wife/left her and married secretary roommate preg out of wedlock saw them later in life in Brit’s ward still together 3 kids active and found myself judging them ?Son who had sex before marriage which he didn’t because then he wouldn’t have introduced more children into relationship Realization that just bec you check the boxes, life isn’t going to be “easier” nor is everything going to happen to you that you were told was (I.e. blessings) Felt lied to…things you thought would happen or were told actually would happen and yet did not. like w/ marriage and raising kids….or blessings of career and finances etc. You are made to grapple with the reality where either yourself or someone you care about is in the middle of a situation that doesn’t seem to align with what you were taught by those authority figures and you aren’t quite sure what to do with it. You are forced to confront this contradiction. Going back to Brian, “The only way out is doubt. We may doubt that the authorities are always right. We may doubt that all the rules are always absolute and appropriate. We may doubt that they are as bad or dangerous as our authority figures warned us or that we are as good and exceptional as we were told. Add hormones, puberty, sexual curiosity, and changing bodies and brains to the mix and Simplicity stops feeling so simple anymore.” PG 47 TO summarize what Brian shares basically we want to trade in dualism for pragmatism and dependence for independence. Were not children any longer and want to self-differentiate. The authority figures we had in Stage One are replaced with mentors, coaches, guides who teach us how to think for ourselves, develop our own goals and the skills to reach those goals.. PG 48 At the Restore Conference in SLC 2023, Brian shared this about his experience in Stage Two: I gave myself permission behind my smiling face to have some of my own thoughts. there’s an independence that develops. I stopped looking for authority figures to give me easy answers and I started looking for mentors and coaches who would tell me how to succeed, who would give me ideas and how to learn and think for myself. I looked for conferences and retreats and other kinds of places where I could meet some people who would teach me in a different way and weren’t going to threaten me if I didn’t agree with them. I was really looking for people who I could ask questions of and maybe even challenge, because I needed to learn to think for myself. I was looking for simple steps and techniques, [and I still cherish this thought, not that all is known or knowable, but anything can be fixed and any problem can be solved, and life is a set of winnable games, and now] I’m looking for meaning in individual and in group achievement and in being independent. A lot of people stay in Stage Two, complexity their whole lives.” With that I invite you to reflect on situations of contradictions that you have experience in your life that may represent movement for you from Stage One to Stage Two faith. I’d love to know your thoughts, and what comes up for you. make sure to like, subscribe, follow to be notified first when future episodes publish of the next 2 stages of faith. And while you’re at it, it would mean the world to me if you would take a moment to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Thanks for joining, until next time!