Episode 116: Yes, actually you can (change your mind.)

Actually yes, you can

So sorry for those of you who woke up today to a blank episode!  Here is take two!

If you haven’t figured it out yet I do my own podcasting and that means it’s B- work!  I love B- work.  That’s what gets things done.  Anyways…on to todays episode

We have all read the children’s book Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss.

Sam-I-Am was persistent in the invitations to the main Seuss character that they just try the green eggs and ham.  Over and over and over again the invitations were made.  Rather insistent ones. The classic furry character was adamant time and time again that no they were not going to try them.  They didn’t even like them.  Spoiler alert:  the creature ended up changing their mind, trying and LIKING green eggs and ham. 

George Bernard Shaw famously said, “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

Dr. Grant Muddle, ML, DBA, MAICD who is acknowledged internationally for healthcare leadrship, and balancing community expectations with commercial realities said,

“Shaw’s words are a powerful reminder of the importance of adaptability and flexibility in achieving progress. If we are not willing to change our minds, to let go of old ideas and beliefs, and to be open to new possibilities, we risk becoming stagnant and obsolete.” (Source: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/progress-impossible-without-change-those-who-cannot-dr-grant/)

Who knows for how many days, weeks, months and possibly years Rosa Parks boarded a bus and took her “appointed” seat in the back.  Until. . .  one day she changed her mind.  She decided to sit in the front and so she did.  Even when ordered to move to the back by the driver, she did not give up her seat in the front.  That single event began a movement of change, progress and growth that continues to this day.

Reading from an article by Claudia Hammond, published by the BBC called “The surprising reason people change their minds” it says,  (https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180622-the-surprising-reason-people-change-their-minds)

“…research suggests that, . .  we can let go of our opinions – and that opposition can even turn into acceptance.

For decades, research on confirmation bias has shown that we are more likely to look out for, notice and remember anything that confirms opinions we already hold. If you like drinking wine, you’re more likely to remember the occasional studies which find a benefit from alcohol than the research on its risks.”

Our brains are also faster at processing opinions we agree with. For a while, we have known that if you give people a list of factually incorrect sentences, they take longer to find grammatical errors than if the statements are true. So if the statement is “soft soap are edible”, they’ll take more time to spot the mistake in the grammar because the meaning is also inaccurate.

The same happens with opinions. Researchers at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem recently gave people statements like “I believe the internet makes people more sociable” or “I believe the internet makes people more isolated”. Once again, participants had to judge whether the sentence was grammatically correct. They took longer to decide if they disagreed with the opinion. Without us even being aware of it, our opinions can override our automatic responses.” (End quote)

THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT.  This demonstrates how deeply ingrained our opinions are.  Opinions is another word for BELIEFS or THOUGHTS. This is why having a life coach in your life is so unbelievably helpful, I think it’s essential.  It is harder for us to catch thought errors or ways of thinking that are not serving us, and in fact may cause us harm or pain. This is exactly what I help my clients with—increasing AWARENESS of their thoughts, belief, opinions. 

Why is this relevant?  You cannot chose (or not) to change something you’re not aware of and that you are not actively looking to understand from another viewpoint, something about which you don’t see a problem or a need for additional information—I.e. you are happy with the opinions that already confirm yours (confirmation bias).  In other words, to go back to the previous example…you are happy with the research that speaks to the benefits of wine and not likely to focus on or dig deeper into the studies that mention the risks.

To go back to the article….I quote, “All of this would suggest that we hold our opinions dear.  This is true but it doesn’t mean those opinions are fixed forever. We are more fickle than we think.”

Then she goes on to mention fascinating studies on the San Fransisco ban on the use of plastic water bottles and the ban on smoking in parks and restaurant patios in Ontario.  I highly recommend this short read.  I’ll leave a link in show notes. 

What am I saying?  That our THOUGHTS and incidentally also our FEELINGS are NOT FACTS!

They are information but they are not factual. 

They don’t have to control you. 

They don’t need to drive the bus. 

But you have to be the one to take away the keys to the bus.

This is true in all of our relationships: with parents, siblings, children, spouses, co-workers, loved ones, and this also applies to the relationships we have with institutions, companies, organ religions, political, etc.

We get to define those relationships by taking back the keys, the wheel, the seat and driving the bus. 

And sometimes that means we look at the map and recalibrate, take a different course, go a different direction, and change our minds.

In the book of Romans 12:2 it says “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”   The word transform is taken from the roots ‘trans’ (across, through or on the other side of) and ‘form’ (means shape) [transform=complete change.] 

It means to change completely the appearance or character of something or someone, especially so that thing or person is improved.  Another word for transform is metamorphose or go through metamorphosis. (https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/transform#:~:text=to%20change%20completely%20the%20appearance,of%20art%20to%20transform%20experience)

Renew means give fresh life or strength to, revive, replace (something worn out, broken). (Taken from Oxford languages https://tinyurl.com/526tew66)

All this to say, it is okay to change your mind.  It is at the core of all progress, macro and micro, both individual and the collective we, our spiritual, mental, emotional, intellectual, physical progress.  It is continually reinventing and redefining ourselves, aligning with the course that is for us, the one that draws us closer to the Divine.

I’d love to know your thoughts on this episode.  Send an email hello@meaganskidmorecoaching.com.

Thanks for being here.  Until next time.

________

Do an episode on metamorphosis.  Can’t do it for anyone else.  WE are the only ones who can experience metamorphosis for ourselves. 

OR— https://geediting.com/situations-in-life-where-the-best-thing-to-do-is-remain-silent-according-to-psychology/