Episode 70: Having an LGBTQ+ Kiddo is a Gift From God with Annalee Kelly

Meagan (Host):
Hey everybody, welcome to the Beyond the Shadow of Doubt podcast. I’m your host, Meagan Skidmore, and I’m so pleased to be with you today to bring you the voice of another beautiful human.
I have Anna Lee Kelly with me—a fellow LGBTQ+ mom. We met through parent groups, and there’s always an instant connection when you share lived experiences like these.
I invited Anna Lee on the podcast to talk about her faith journey and her child, Aidan, who identifies as transgender. Thank you so much for being here, Anna Lee.

Anna Lee:
Thank you, Meagan. I’m happy to be here.

Meagan:
Let’s start by letting you introduce yourself—whatever you’re comfortable sharing about your background, family, and story.

Anna Lee:
I’m Anna Lee Kelly, a mom of four—three sons and one daughter. My second oldest, Aidan, is transgender.
I’m also a semi-professional violinist; I teach full-time, conduct, and perform. Music and camping with my family are my biggest passions.

Growing up in a home surrounded by the arts, I thought I was inclusive. My parents worked in the music department at Boise State, and we constantly had performers in our home—many of them gay or lesbian. I believed I was accepting—until my own child came out, and everything I thought I knew was tested.

One night my then-daughter, Emma, came to me at 13, clutching her journal. She asked me to read a highlighted passage:

“I’ve never been attracted to boys. I feel a pull toward girls.”

She’d carried this alone for years, feeling shame. We got her into counseling, and I thought I had come to terms with that part of her identity. But a few years later, she came to me again and said, “Mom, I don’t feel female. My brain doesn’t match my body.”
That moment shattered everything I thought I understood. I looked for reasons—trauma, autism, confusion—anything that could explain it away.

But my husband and I decided together: whatever our child needed, we’d figure it out.

Still, I struggled. Changing pronouns, names, gender markers—it was all so hard. The depression got worse. Our ward was supportive, but Aidan was suicidal. There were days he curled up on the floor sobbing that he couldn’t live anymore. His Young Women leaders would come and literally form a circle around him, holding him up in prayer and love.

Eventually, we knew he needed to start hormone therapy. But I couldn’t bring myself to agree. The idea of altering his body felt like a moral dilemma. I pleaded with God for another way.

Finally, our bishop—who was also a healthcare provider—said words that changed everything:

“Anna Lee, I’d rather have a transgender son than a dead daughter.”

In that instant, the lights came on. I realized I had to choose life and love. From that point on, everything changed.

I had to face how many prejudices I’d been holding. I used to think I was inclusive—I even have a lesbian sister—but I had drawn rigid lines. I didn’t want her partner at Thanksgiving. I didn’t want my kids to see it as normal. I see now how much fear ruled my love.

Through Aidan’s experience, I woke up. I think of 2 Nephi:

“Awake, my sons, and put on the armor of righteousness; shake off the chains with which ye are bound.”

That’s what happened to me. I shook off the chains of fear and judgment and learned to see my son through the eyes of Christ—through love and agency.

We did everything we could to keep him alive, including calling him a nickname—Shark—when using his chosen name felt too hard. It helped us bridge the gap until we were ready.

Now, I would give my life for my son. Having an LGBTQ+ child is a compliment from God. It means He trusts me enough to raise this incredible human, to learn from him, and to love without conditions.

Our family has even advocated publicly—we spoke before Congress in D.C. to share our experience and help challenge misconceptions about LGBTQ youth. People still believe being gay or trans is a choice. After watching my child’s pain, I know it isn’t. No one would choose that kind of suffering.

Meagan:
That’s incredibly powerful, Anna Lee. I love that you called it a compliment from God. I feel that too. This journey has deepened my relationship with God in ways I never expected. For many of us, it’s a faith-stretching path filled with wrestling and revelation.

Can you talk about that faith pivot—when long-held beliefs no longer matched your lived reality?

Anna Lee:
It’s terrifying. It turns you inside out. There’s a real dichotomy of the soul when the doctrine you’ve been taught doesn’t fit the child you love. The idea that my family couldn’t be eternal because my son is transgender—it broke me. That’s why he needed to step away from church activity for his own mental health.

But I stay. This is where I’ve been planted. God has turned my fear into faith. I’m on the other side of fear now. I don’t have all the answers, but I trust that everything will be OK. Christ has picked up my battered soul so many times that I can see the bigger picture—even if some pieces are still missing.

Meagan:
That’s such a beautiful description—trusting implicitly over fear. It’s something I’m still learning.

Anna Lee:
I used to be addicted to geometry—everything had to be straight lines, right angles, boxes checked. Served a mission, married in the temple, raised four kids, led Young Women twice. Then this happened and God introduced curves and nuance. I learned that’s where He teaches us—in the gray areas.

Meagan:
Yes. That’s where the growth happens—where we learn to commune with God in new ways. It’s also where mental health comes into play. This kind of journey is so isolating and can impact our well-being profoundly.

Anna Lee:
Absolutely. That’s why connection is so important. Early on, my friend Amy Taylor and I started a support group for parents of LGBTQ youth. We called it Open Arms. We just met in our living rooms to listen and cry and support each other. Now it’s standing room only. We’ve become a nonprofit with separate groups for parents and youth. It’s amazing to see what happens when you create a safe, nonjudgmental space.

We aren’t church-sponsored, but local bishops attend to learn. Our only rules are: no church bashing, complete confidentiality, and mutual respect. We just listen and love. One boy comes each month, changes into a dress to feel himself for an hour, then changes back before going home. That’s why this space matters.

Meagan:
That is so beautiful. And such a needed example of what “safe space” really means.

Anna Lee:
A safe space is where you listen more than you talk. You empathize without judging. You validate even if you don’t agree. You remove the word but from “I love you.” It’s not “I love you, but…” It’s just “I love you.”

Meagan:
Exactly. Christ’s love has no “but.”

Anna Lee:
Right. That’s what it means to live beyond the shadow of doubt for me—to trust implicitly over fear. To believe God weeps with us and for our children. Our covenants are stronger than any darkness we face.

Meagan:
That’s beautiful, Anna Lee. Thank you for your courage, your wisdom, and your faith.

Anna Lee:
Thank you, Meagan. It’s been an honor.

Lightning Round:

• Favorite Book: Expanding the Borders of Zion by Charlie Bird

• Introvert or Extrovert: Extrovert

• Night Owl or Morning Lark: Morning Lark

• Favorite Artist: The Go-Go’s

• Celebrity Crush: Tom Selleck (“Magnum P.I. forever!”)

• Drink of Choice: Diet Dr Pepper with a shot of coconut cream

• Farthest Travel: Key West, Florida

Connect with Anna Lee:
Website: openarmsidaho.org
Email: jnakelly97@gmail.com