Elder Oaks said “When I say free agency I refer to what the scripture calls agency, which means an exercise of the will, the power to choose. We are here to be tested, and this cannot occur without opposition in all things. If we did not have opposition, we could not exercise our free agency by making choices.”
As Richard Rohr says it, “Clear choice and decision gets you started, aims you on the right course, and then if you stay on it, that very path will open you up to subtlety, nuance, shadow, contradictions, inconsistencies, brokenness, and variance in almost everything.”
What does this have to do with questions and doubts? If we are denied the opportunity to acknowledge that we have questions and doubts and that there’s no shame in having them, we interrupt the natural process of learning and growth that comes with assessing our lives circumstances and determining what we want to do or what decisions to make. We are halting or damning our progress. We lose the sense of autonomy or being in charge of self.
Works cited: (https://www.simplypsychology.org/freewill-determinism.html); (https://rsc.byu.edu/book-mormon-second-nephi-doctrinal-structure/free-agency-freedom); (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5002400/); (https://www.franciscanmedia.org/franciscan-spirit-blog/lent-with-richard-rohr-decision-precedes-depth/#:~:text=Clear%20choice%20and%20decision%20gets,and%20variance%20in%20almost%20everything)
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Hey everyone, I’m Meagan Skidmore, and this is the “Beyond the Shadow of Doubt” podcast. Welcome to episode “……….”
I created this podcast to attempt to bring the traditionally taboo topic of having doubts and asking questions out of the shadows, peel back the layers of shame and shed light and insight on this topic.
I work w/ LGBTQ+ families of a conservative faith background as a Life transitions coach. I work with both the parents & LGBTQ+ kiddos and focus much of my work to advocating, educating and providing support.
Before getting started, wanted to mention I am a proud member of the Dialogue Podcast Network (DialogueJournal.com/podcastnetwork). The Dialogue Podcast Network features shows by Latter-day Saints who wish to bring their faith into dialogue with the larger stream of world religious thought and with human experience as a whole and to foster artistic and scholarly achievement based on their cultural heritage.
If you are listening, most likely you are a person of faith, possibly raised in a specific religion as I was in the LDS faith. Two of the foundation tenets of my faith are those of FREE WILL (or free agency) and also eternal progression.
Free will is the idea that we are able to have some choice in how we act and assumes that we are free to choose our behavior, in other words we are self determined. (https://www.simplypsychology.org/freewill-determinism.html)
Elder Oaks explained it thus (I’ll reference the article in show notes)
The scriptural terms are agency and free. When we refer to agency, we usually combine the two words and say free agency. But we sometimes use this term to refer to freedom as well as agency. And the scriptural term free sometimes means free agency and sometimes means freedom.
When I say free agency I refer to what the scripture calls agency, which means an exercise of the will, the power to choose. (In view of the current prominence of this term on the sports pages, I must add that this “free agency” does not refer to the contract status of professional athletes.) When I say freedom, I mean the power and privilege to carry out our choices. This includes everything from thoughts, …, to actions, .…
HE GOES ON TO EXPLAIN:
7. We are here to be tested, and this cannot occur without opposition in all things. On this subject, 2 Nephi enlarges our understanding. Father Lehi taught his son Jacob:
It must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one (2 Nephi 2:11).
E. Oaks: In other words, if we did not have opposition, we could not exercise our free agency by making choices. Religious Studies Center at BYU
(https://rsc.byu.edu/book-mormon-second-nephi-doctrinal-structure/free-agency-freedom)
Opposition means that we are presented with options….choices to make. But why is this ability, to choose, decision making important?
When we make voluntary actions we tend not to feel as though they simply happen to us, instead we feel as though we are in charge. The sense of agency refers to this feeling of being in the driving seat when it comes to our actions. National library of medicine (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5002400/)Aug 29, 2016
Richard Rohr says this:
Clear choice and decision gets you started, aims you on the right course, and then if you stay on it, that very path will open you up to subtlety, nuance, shadow, contradictions, inconsistencies, brokenness, and variance in almost everything. (https://www.franciscanmedia.org/franciscan-spirit-blog/lent-with-richard-rohr-decision-precedes-depth/#:~:text=Clear%20choice%20and%20decision%20gets,and%20variance%20in%20almost%20everything.)
I propose that having free agency is what allows to address the above and learn to trust. Most importantly It provides us opportunities to grow and develop that relationship of trust with ourselves. In previous episodes I’ve made the point that as the higher species, humans have the ability to think about our thinking—to “observe it” be the watcher of our thoughts, realize we are NOT our thoughts, and we are separate from them. In this sense, humans are unique in that we can cultivate a relationship with ourselves in this way.
What does this have to do with having questions and doubts?
If we deny ourselves (or are denied by others) the opportunity to acknowledge that we have questions and doubts and that there’s no shame in having them, we interrupt the natural process of learning and growth that comes with assessing our lives circumstances and determining what we want to do or what decisions to make. We are halting or damning our progress. We lose the sense of autonomy or being in charge of self.
As a coach, I do not see my role as telling you what you should do or need to do. Far from it. My role is to help you help yourself—see outside of yourself, consider points of view you have previously been blind to or ignorant of, broaden your perspective, withhold or even suspend judgement until you can gain more insight, knowledge or experience.
Consider the progress made by clients that would not be possible otherwise (w/o free agency and the ability to determine ones choices and progression)
I trust myself wy more.
I was… looking outside of myself for my worth, direction, what was important.
I feel comfortable (as) in this evolved person
I feel more at peace in my own thoughts,
I’m starting to feel so much less anxiety (at a store).
I’ve never experienced such a mind shift in a short amount of time!
I feel like I have a path, I know how I want to be and show up
As I was reading those statements, did any of them stand out? Were there some that you would struggle to say to describe yourself? What does your path forward look like?
I am currently creating a PILOT hybrid group program for LGBTQ+ parents. Basically I’m testing a hybrid coaching program —a combination of group & individual coaching, as well as guest speakers. I will simultaneously be going through a trauma certification program with Lindsay Poelman coaching to enlarge my skill set as a coach, as well as deepen my ability to process with my clients. I would love and appreciate your help as I go through the program. Win-win. Those who are involved in my hybrid pilot group will get the benefit of trauma coaching as well Come learn and grow with me! Click the link in my show notes to get on the waiting list. Additionally, For limited time I’m offering a limited number of complimentary 6 session packages for Q+ teens or young adults to coincide with the trauma certification. Please shoot me an email for more info about either hello@meaganskidmorecoaching.com
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Thanks for joining me. Until next time.