Episode 215: The path of Alignment with Diana Murphy

Meagan Skidmore (00:02.337)

All right, here we go. Hey everyone, welcome to today’s episode of Living Beyond the Shadow of Doubt. I am honored to have one of my dearest friends, and it’s only been this year, really, which seems kind of crazy to say. It does. Diana, you and I,

 

Diana Murphy (00:20.354)

Yeah, we just met. It feels like we’ve known each other for a much longer time. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (00:31.979)

have been in certification together this year with Sarah Trapkis in emotional alchemy. And what a journey that has been for both of us. Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (00:35.384)

Yes. Yes. Yep. Yep.

 

Yes.

 

Yes, I think in very different ways. I had been coached by Sarah one-on-one and was really part of her work as that as she became the I’m going to teach this and certified coaches. I came from such an understanding of the work, but only from experiencing it. Being trained to facilitate it was very different. And I’m so thankful for being in a group like we were in.

 

Meagan Skidmore (00:51.253)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (01:14.464)

and being with you and meeting you, that was a, it’s been a real privilege.

 

Meagan Skidmore (01:15.508)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (01:20.629)

Yeah, and I don’t know how it is for you because like you said, for different reasons, it was really a wonderful experience and quite the experience. But for me, I found it’s been instrumental in my own personal journey as I have reimagined or learned to get to know my own spirituality on a different level, a different way, engaging with it in different ways.

 

Diana Murphy (01:25.23)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (01:50.049)

It’s been like this huge opening of a new, almost portal or something like that. Do you?

 

Diana Murphy (01:59.03)

I feel that way too and I was experiencing it in my own healing and my own transformation leaving my marriage and it’s like I knew I was being held in a different way and I knew I was starting to navigate my emotional experience very differently and but that was all being done like

 

almost subconsciously while I was working with Sarah. And to be able to step out and be able to understand how to facilitate it for others has been a real gift. And I think that had started opening up a spiritual portal for me too. Like trusting myself differently and just seeing myself differently after investing the time we did.

 

Meagan Skidmore (02:23.936)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (02:38.726)

Absolutely.

 

Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (02:47.316)

Right. And also learning how to I think it by extension helped me to on it on a new level honor others and where they’re at and in their journey. And it’s just it’s been so it’s been so good for so many reasons anyway.

 

Diana Murphy (03:00.27)

Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (03:05.944)

Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (03:08.052)

We’re here to talk about you, so we’ll shift into that direction. Thank you so much for taking my invitation to be here today. I want to give you a chance to just introduce yourself to our listeners, share with them about you, your background, where you come from, you know, your…

 

Diana Murphy (03:14.638)

.

 

Diana Murphy (03:18.754)

Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (03:33.066)

The things that you would consider kind of your origin story, your faith, family, your interests, your profession, kind of how you’ve gotten to where you’re at today. Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (03:37.314)

Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (03:45.12)

Awesome. I was raised in a waspy neighborhood in the northwest suburbs of Chicago.

 

Meagan Skidmore (03:52.192)

I’ve heard that term before. What is WASP?

 

Diana Murphy (03:53.996)

Yeah, white, Anglo, Saxon, Protestant. And it was even the only different people in my neighborhood at the time were Catholic. And there was a Catholic school and then the public school. I didn’t understand, like so in frame of reference of what we’re talking about today, that I remember having to learn and understand more about the Catholic faith through the practices of my neighbors. And so that was.

 

Meagan Skidmore (03:58.721)

you

 

Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (04:06.688)

Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (04:20.608)

Okay, interesting.

 

Diana Murphy (04:23.266)

Yeah, that was my grade school years. moved into another suburb, was more spread out in the Northwest suburbs, and just was raised in Protestant church. I knew there were different times in our lives that mom felt it was really important to get us to church. And one of those seasons was when I was in middle school. And this was really because of my age. This was when.

 

Meagan Skidmore (04:41.79)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (04:50.306)

the evangelical church was really calling it the Jesus Movement. And there were big, yeah, so there were big, it was the beginning of some of the evangelical stuff. And I was in a smaller church and we were doing concerts and worship things and youth group. And we had a very loosely held, just church kind of experience, but we were being invited to these big events.

 

Meagan Skidmore (04:55.84)

Tell us what that means. I don’t know if I know exactly.

 

Diana Murphy (05:17.314)

and it would be big concerts and then altar calls. And a lot of focus in youth group was whether you had accepted Christ as savior or not. I don’t remember in that season a lot of teachings about my behavior, which is really interesting looking back. That came more when I was in Bible study in the Bible Belt in the South. So I’m in Atlanta now, raised in Chicago.

 

great set of parents, a brother, went to school in Colorado and met the man I married and we married right after college. And we both were very, very focused on our careers, both salespeople and moved to New York City out of his preference. And then eventually I had two boys.

 

And we moved to the Midwest to be a part of the Gallup organization. And so we were in the Midwest again, very white and traveling a lot. My ex-husband at the time was traveling a lot. But we were in a very conservative, like Midwestern Lincoln, Nebraska. But we had our boys there and then were able to move. We opened an office for the company in Atlanta. And I became a stay-at-home mom.

 

Meagan Skidmore (06:17.641)

Really?

 

Meagan Skidmore (06:34.175)

Okay.

 

Diana Murphy (06:42.126)

won my, oh, this was one, and did stay home just due to the travel weight, but really had a thriving career as a manager there and decided to step aside just for my own well-being, because I knew I couldn’t handle more of a load of labor. And I was lucky that we were able to do that.

 

Meagan Skidmore (06:46.559)

Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (07:00.115)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

 

So when you say you were part of the Gallup Association, are you talking about the polling company? Wow, you were part of that.

 

Diana Murphy (07:09.932)

Yeah, so the Gallup organization was, we were part of a company called Selection Research that was founded by Don Clifton in Lincoln. And his son, Jim Clifton, started the Market Research Division. So there was more of a selection or employment division, and then there was the market research. And now it’s merged. And StrengthsFinder was created and some of the other consulting work.

 

Meagan Skidmore (07:20.253)

Hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (07:26.175)

Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (07:36.511)

you were part of that.

 

Diana Murphy (07:39.274)

I was two desks away from Don Clifton, and I managed the in-depth interviewing center. We were doing the two to three hour research interviews as they were combining all the data that they had from doing a lot of selection work. And I loved that work. That was the seeds of wanting to become a coach really happened in Gallup. yeah, my husband at the time became head of worldwide sales for the company.

 

Meagan Skidmore (07:43.231)

Wow.

 

Meagan Skidmore (07:59.528)

cool. What a great background.

 

Diana Murphy (08:08.366)

So he had a very big job that demanded a lot of us as a family. But I loved the, I have fond memories of being honored because they understood my strengths. So that, it was a cool season in that sense. Yeah, because they lived what they were consulting around strengths. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (08:11.475)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (08:23.315)

That is way cool. How funny. I’m sure they did. I’m sure that the, I don’t know if corporate environment is an accurate description, but just the culture, the work culture at least was very more healthy maybe. Okay.

 

Diana Murphy (08:36.3)

Yeah. Yeah, the culture did gear toward that, it was very, or but it was workaholic. was, think what I can, in frame of reference, it was like a startup company. And so we were in massive growth all the time. That’s just how we rolled. So part-time, I used to fondly say part-time was 40 hours and full-time was like your whole life. Like it just was that way. And the type of jobs I would want were,

 

Meagan Skidmore (08:54.879)

Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (09:01.587)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (09:05.112)

felt that way. And so it was healthy for me to step aside. worked part time for a while and I stepped aside.

 

Meagan Skidmore (09:12.649)

So from a younger age, you were in tune with your needs, with what you needed to honor about you. That’s good.

 

Diana Murphy (09:15.244)

Yeah.

 

Yeah, yes. I knew and I fought for it. My job felt like security because his was all commission. He was in sales only at the beginning. And I knew that was best for also the kids we were going to be raising.

 

Meagan Skidmore (09:27.807)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (09:35.872)

So, Enlighten Us, kind of the side of you, you went to college, you met your husband, you got married shortly after finishing university. You both had good jobs. Eventually moved to Atlanta. You did what was best for you and your needs, your energies, and moved to being a stay-at-home mom.

 

Diana Murphy (09:51.714)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

 

now.

 

Diana Murphy (09:59.149)

Yep.

 

Meagan Skidmore (10:03.987)

Although you had the seed planted of wanting, of coaching, you knew, it sounds like for a while that that was going to be part of your life. Tell me about your spiritual slash religious journey as it was intertwined for you at this point.

 

Diana Murphy (10:06.582)

Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (10:21.464)

Yeah.

 

It’s so fascinating. We had a very Christian wedding by the pastor and in the church where I had been practicing as a youth, very involved in the choir and all those things. And my family was still very involved at the time. And I remember being married and knowing that that wasn’t really the lifestyle, the going to church or whatever of my husband.

 

And I remember being sheepish about having my mom send my spiritual books. I had some C.S. Lewis books, I had some other things. And I do really remember tamping that down and realizing that that was not going to be something I could practice.

 

Meagan Skidmore (11:04.895)

And that was early on in your marriage. Okay.

 

Diana Murphy (11:06.892)

Yeah, I did, you know, and I tamped it down myself in college and then I had this like desire to start investigating and I knew it wasn’t okay. Like I just knew it wasn’t part of what, it just felt safer to not pursue it anymore.

 

Meagan Skidmore (11:26.889)

So tell me what that looked like in real life. You say you tamped it down. Did you pull away from your faith community? Did you verbalize these things out loud? Did you and your husband decide together? Like.

 

Diana Murphy (11:41.024)

It was no more like I think I made a few mentions and it was clearly not the direction he wanted to go. And so I had left it during college and so this was like this re-like consideration and then decided that that wasn’t, that I was okay without it and didn’t have a faith community. When I went home, I would go to church with my parents.

 

Meagan Skidmore (11:46.43)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (12:02.974)

Okay.

 

Diana Murphy (12:10.17)

And it really wasn’t until my second son was two that I started having a desire to dive back into faith. And that was through being in Atlanta through an organized Bible study that was non-denominational. And I got very, very involved. Just dug into scripture. I became a Bible study leader. I loved it. I even started my own Bible study when the kids were in high school for moms in my community.

 

Meagan Skidmore (12:21.758)

you

 

Meagan Skidmore (12:27.57)

Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (12:37.542)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (12:38.606)

And so it became a very big part of my life during that season.

 

Meagan Skidmore (12:42.75)

So in a sense, you kind of un-tamped part of it. You were specific about what you re-invited back into your space.

 

Diana Murphy (12:47.532)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes.

 

Diana Murphy (12:53.622)

Yeah, it was a, yeah, and it was, I remember the moment in the way that, you know, evangelical Christianity, was like, I almost like accepted Jesus again and said I would never go back and just doubled down on that part of the faith journey to leaving it, to leaving it, leaving him. Yeah, yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (13:08.926)

Never go back where. Okay, okay. So tell us about the process of you were realizing that your, I don’t know, the recipe that you were handed by virtue of your, where…

 

Diana Murphy (13:32.526)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (13:37.405)

the family, environment you were born into that was was given to you. Like how did you give yourself that permission? Like tell us about that process of how you knew that this is just not for me the way that it is now. And then fast forward to how you. Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (13:38.67)

you

 

Diana Murphy (13:48.193)

Yeah, it’s so

 

Diana Murphy (13:56.76)

brought it back in. It was interesting, I was having a lot, I was with a friend that we were workout buddies and our kids I think were in school, same preschool and I was really complaining about the situation with my mother-in-law. that was a toxic, like looking back that was a toxic, there were some dynamics that were real and she recommended that I attend Bible study and

 

Meagan Skidmore (14:04.894)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (14:22.282)

After experiencing worship and the lesson and everything I was like, I’m back. I’m like this is what I need and It I started listening to Christian music again and I I couldn’t wait to lay down I remember what like kind of watching TV in the background I’m laying down and doing these in-depth Bible study lessons with historical context and Understanding and then the hearing application and being with other women that were talking about

 

Meagan Skidmore (14:31.134)

Hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (14:51.598)

this. So we felt very at home and very, and I really thought my husband at the time would just come along. Like I bought him a Bible, I left it on his pillow and thought, and I really freaked him out. And

 

Meagan Skidmore (14:52.734)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (15:06.152)

What part do you think quote freaked him out?

 

Diana Murphy (15:09.196)

Hmm. Well, I think knowing the truth now. Right, I have the benefit of history. So I have more understanding looking back. But at the time, I felt like this was something that was very much a part of me. And I wanted to share it and have conversations around it. And I was kind of ashamed or like embarrassed and hurt that he was so reactive.

 

Meagan Skidmore (15:14.386)

You have the benefit of hindsight right now, but.

 

Meagan Skidmore (15:28.421)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (15:38.508)

because I knew he had been raised in faith. But I think the way you’re taught in the church too, that there was such a feeling like I was right, and I just needed to wait till he came along. And I spent a lot of Bible study conversations around waiting for him or why wasn’t he in faith or I was always objectifying him.

 

Meagan Skidmore (16:03.845)

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (16:06.892)

which I can’t imagine that energy in a marriage.

 

Meagan Skidmore (16:07.422)

Mm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (16:11.656)

So your focus was at times really about what he wasn’t doing that you were wishing that he would do. I’m asking you these questions because I think that scenario is very applicable. I’ve talked to a lot of people, I read a lot. In the coaching community, you…

 

Diana Murphy (16:18.422)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (16:34.734)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (16:39.28)

are part of various communities, whether that’s for a conference that could be a single day, it could be a week. Sometimes there’s events that extend beyond that. There’s connection beyond that. I…

 

Diana Murphy (16:42.444)

Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (16:46.904)

Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (16:54.982)

In my experience, I see a huge awakening going on, especially for women whose role has been defined in a certain way for them for decades, centuries, really. And so I know that there are listeners out there that are at some point maybe in their journey experiencing what you have along the way early on in your marriage.

 

Diana Murphy (17:10.446)

Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (17:24.444)

where you decided this isn’t resonating and I’m going to tamp this away for now, but then coming to a point where you wanted to re-invite it because you felt something was missing. I think you said something to that effect, but then also realizing your husband wasn’t going to move in that direction.

 

Diana Murphy (17:24.462)

Yeah.

 

Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (17:39.308)

Yeah, that’s accurate. Yeah, that resonates.

 

Meagan Skidmore (17:51.558)

In some ways, tell me if this lands, you were kind of in a mixed-faith marriage.

 

Diana Murphy (17:55.948)

Yes, very much so. And not realizing it would be such a challenge and felt so strongly and felt so edified in the faith community and experience that I knew it was something I wasn’t willing to give up. did. I learned so much and had so many seasons of times of feeling very lonely in it and then others.

 

Meagan Skidmore (17:58.802)

And that’s a challenge.

 

Meagan Skidmore (18:03.741)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (18:23.836)

Hmm

 

Diana Murphy (18:24.236)

peace and just letting and it was always the goal though to be the best wife I could and so a lot of that was the the way that my role was seen in church especially you know in a more southern Baptist way and that also helped quiet the difference is because I followed my faith and just let it be mine and was very quiet and served him and the kids and kind of doubled down on being a great wife.

 

Meagan Skidmore (18:29.938)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (18:37.873)

Yeah, yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (18:43.367)

Mm-hmm.

 

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (18:53.637)

Yeah, which is what we’re taught our role is, which is, it’s just so interesting to be a little older, a little wiser and to realize things now that I didn’t understand then. I’m saying this because I hear you and I’ve experienced that, that we really can’t control anybody else’s lives.

 

Diana Murphy (19:13.122)

Yeah. Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (19:19.062)

No. No.

 

Meagan Skidmore (19:21.509)

We can do everything that we were told to do, but that still would not ultimately have an effect on their happiness or unhappiness, even though they may correlate it to that. And that was a big awakening.

 

Diana Murphy (19:32.92)

Yeah, yeah. And yeah, and I think I doubled down on the role of wife to be the good girl, like I doubled down on that and let the fuel of that I was doing the right thing faith wise and when you think of humility and servant leadership and so many of the things I was taught.

 

But I felt a lot of shame that I was the single woman, faith-wise, in church. There’s not a place for me in community.

 

Meagan Skidmore (20:10.365)

So interesting to hear you talk because although our specific religion, the religious groups that we both come from are different, there’s so much overlap in what you’re sharing. I can relate so much.

 

Diana Murphy (20:16.192)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (20:23.81)

Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (20:28.253)

So let’s fast forward to today, present day. And when I say that, that can include some of the things that you’ve been involved in, you know, in recent years. Today, Diana, that has taken all of her past selves, said thank you, thank you, thank you for all that you.

 

Diana Murphy (20:33.377)

Okay.

 

Diana Murphy (20:42.892)

Yeah. Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (20:50.15)

Yes. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (20:56.315)

I’ve done for me, been there for me, learned, taught me, etc., etc. And now I’ve got you. I’m in charge. I’m taking the reins and we’re going to do life the way that feels truly, truly in alignment.

 

Diana Murphy (21:16.258)

And it’s been a wild journey. To fill in the gaps a little, I continued in leadership and even starting a Bible study to support moms in my kid’s school. And I ran that for seven years. Yeah. And they even advertise my Bible study. And that’s how I met some of the most dear friends that I ended up going through.

 

Meagan Skidmore (21:19.389)

Tell us about that. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (21:32.317)

Cool, were they in a private school? okay, was like, how did they allow that? Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (21:44.477)

Okay.

 

Diana Murphy (21:46.04)

So we were a support system through faith, but then we’d see each other at this large school and at different events. And it became a very sweet, sweet community for me. And that was when there was, I’m not saying that like my husband gave me permission, but it was always done with respect. We got to a place where it was done with respect, that this is Diana’s thing, isn’t it wonderful what she’s doing?

 

Meagan Skidmore (21:57.223)

Good.

 

Meagan Skidmore (22:10.972)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (22:12.78)

When he saw the friendships I was making and the type of people in my life, he was actually more pro at like, isn’t it amazing what Diana’s doing and all these friends? And I was like, what? Like I was starting to feel a full circle of support. After that, kids left that school and I did church different. I was starting to navigate what church I would go to and doing different things more inside church community. And I started at a book club.

 

Meagan Skidmore (22:23.174)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (22:37.862)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (22:42.126)

And so that’s how I created that social extension of what I was experiencing in faith. I mentored women and young women, and that was part of my coaching energy too, and mama energy. And so I was able to coach women through a year program of Bible study, but deep support. And that was while I was learning to be a coach. And so I found coaching in 2013, 14, and…

 

Meagan Skidmore (23:09.756)

Hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (23:10.442)

As my kids empty nested, that became my next. And I loved business building. So that part of it, like was I’d been a salesperson, I’d had this business mind, I’d put it on hold, again, some things that we put on hold and bring back to life. And so I became a coach as the kids left school. And I had my church community that was kind of separate over here and was just a mentor.

 

Meagan Skidmore (23:15.014)

Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (23:28.614)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (23:38.508)

instead of leading something as a group and then I was a coach and building my practice.

 

Meagan Skidmore (23:44.796)

So you started it about 12 years ago. Wow.

 

Diana Murphy (23:48.15)

Yeah, so I’m almost 12 years coach. Many different versions of the type of coaching I did. I started with weight loss and moved really quickly into mindset and have always been supporting type A very high capacity leaders as they navigate tough stuff. That’s kind of my new space.

 

Meagan Skidmore (23:53.884)

So cool.

 

Meagan Skidmore (24:04.688)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (24:10.054)

That’s good. That’s really good. I’m sure you are faced with helping them, perhaps yourself, balance the masculine and the feminine energies because so much of, well, I’ll just say generally the business world has a primarily masculine energy focus, which isn’t a bad thing. It’s not a good thing. It’s a thing, but it hasn’t necessarily.

 

Diana Murphy (24:28.503)

Yes.

 

Diana Murphy (24:32.248)

anything.

 

Diana Murphy (24:36.803)

Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (24:39.644)

been available or accepted, I guess, to introduce the feminine energy, which is so important and so needed.

 

Diana Murphy (24:45.23)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (24:51.756)

And that is a lot of the work that I ended up doing. Now in retrospect, it was helping a lot of corporate women that were in the vise grip of a tough manager or being in a very male-dominant industry. And it worked until it didn’t and then wanted coaching. so a lot of the work, bottom line, it was really helping them to understand what was toxic masculinity, but also honor.

 

Meagan Skidmore (25:02.48)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (25:06.544)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (25:21.94)

Again, like even in my own healing journey, it was honoring that I knew some things were deeply wrong in my marriage. And I started, I didn’t know how to really honor that intuition as well as I do now. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (25:29.436)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (25:36.541)

So fascinating, so fascinating to see the different ways we navigate. First, hearing, allowing that inner, that beautiful inner voice to surface. Sometimes without realizing it, we are, we’re tamping that down. But it can vary, I guess, depending on if it’s.

 

Diana Murphy (25:51.224)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (25:58.349)

Yes.

 

Diana Murphy (26:03.564)

Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (26:05.508)

what relationship it is. It sounds like it was a little bit easier for you to do so with your religious or slash faith journey, a little bit different with your marriage relationship. personally, tell me, tell me your experience, but I personally have found that as I have given myself

 

Diana Murphy (26:07.288)

Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (26:14.03)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (26:32.156)

permission and that means stepping into that as close to a hundred percent alignment. There’s never a hundred percent anything. I will admit that right now but to begin to catch yourself when you feel yourself going to that tamping down

 

Diana Murphy (26:41.976)

Yeah. Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (26:53.965)

Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (26:54.236)

place of your voice, of your wisdom, of what you feel called to do or say or be or who to be. The more that I do not do that, but instead I embrace it and I listen to it and I act on it. I have found some of the deepest joys and moments of great bliss and

 

Diana Murphy (27:01.006)

Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (27:19.022)

I have found there’s just so much life on the other side of stepping into those places of great unknown that can be really scary in the beginning especially. So share with us that part. That’s the good stuff.

 

Diana Murphy (27:28.994)

Yeah, so even the journey of being a very masculine driven business owner, which created a beautiful container for my business, in the last few years as I’ve doubled down on doing my business my way and being much more in alignment with the type of coaching I’m doing, I have been in communities where, and I’m writing about this right now, where it’s mindset

 

Meagan Skidmore (27:40.934)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (27:57.878)

at the cost of everything else. now, and I love mindset work. It’s a place, it’s a window, it’s a beginning with a lot of my clients to help them to understand. But as I navigated an entire identity shift of leaving a 40 year marriage, and really deciding what I was about, it all came from really honoring my knowing.

 

at a way that I had to disregard for the last 10 years of my marriage. I really had to disregard my own well-being.

 

Meagan Skidmore (28:36.389)

Can you think, uh-huh, can you think, thank you so much for sharing that. Can you think of a specific time when you just had to honor your knowing, as you say, and when you say knowing, I’m putting a capital K there.

 

Diana Murphy (28:53.344)

Yeah.

 

I think it was happening at the end of the marriage that I knew something was, I was getting a lot of hits that something was really wrong and that my husband was really pulling away from me. I had gone through about 10 years of that journey of really being confused, doing some therapy with him, and I…

 

was getting so grounded in my own like well-being and what was mine and what was his that I just started listening to that voice more. But I think the real practice of it was in the walking out of that marriage because an event brought a lot of truth to the plate that was not of my doing. I do feel like it was it was divine intervention for both our sakes and

 

Meagan Skidmore (29:34.405)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (29:54.318)

I, that was when Megan, I was able to start really listening to that. I didn’t have to protect that anymore because that was my alignment and my path. And so I moved out very quickly. I helped him to sell the house very quickly. I helped him to communicate his story with my kids. And we did that together very face forward.

 

Meagan Skidmore (30:05.925)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (30:22.508)

But that was really the beginning of that journey of being able to be freed from a marriage that was overriding all of my wellbeing.

 

Meagan Skidmore (30:34.811)

Thank you for sharing that. I know you took just a couple of minutes to share that, but that represents years, years of a lot of emotion, a lot of push and pull, contractions and expansion and release and all of that that comes with growth.

 

Diana Murphy (30:52.162)

Yeah. lot of striving. Yeah. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (31:04.491)

and that is very brave to just know that you needed to act and that meant taking steps away and thanking that relationship for all that it brought and then saying, yeah, it’s time for what’s next.

 

Diana Murphy (31:13.902)

Mm-hmm. To go.

 

Diana Murphy (31:22.732)

Yeah, moving. Yeah. It’s time for me to go.

 

I am realizing more now that the, not the business identity, but really the goddess, the more spiritual part of me, I had created quite a shell around my business. And it was still here in this cottage that I bought last year, which is a space where I love bringing clients in, I of course do my coaching here.

 

Meagan Skidmore (31:59.704)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (32:00.608)

And I realized that it was still here in it almost inadvertently, like through the alchemy work in the journeys I’ve been doing. And it was preventing an intimacy with my current partner. I did not know why you’ll understand this. I didn’t know why he didn’t feel comfortable here. And there was a definite energetic like thing. And it was because I still was protecting myself.

 

Meagan Skidmore (32:07.973)

That’s fantastic, I love that.

 

Meagan Skidmore (32:16.749)

Mmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (32:22.863)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (32:28.524)

I protected my business from day one to become the woman I became that could leave the marriage actually pretty quickly once I knew the truth. And I had built this gorgeous support system for myself. But then I’ve had my growing is surrendering and softening and knowing that I can hold my divine feminine, but I also know when a partner’s safe or a friend’s safe to hold my divine feminine.

 

Meagan Skidmore (32:31.163)

Mm-hmm.

 

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (32:52.859)

Hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (32:56.919)

So where would you say the status of that shell is now?

 

Diana Murphy (33:01.47)

it’s, did a alchemy session with Sarah and I think this will help because the vision is helpful. I felt like my energy was almost like this egg that around me that and my my energy and I visualized pulling a ribbon off like a seal.

 

Meagan Skidmore (33:24.377)

Yeah, like an unveiling, like a ribbon. Wow.

 

Diana Murphy (33:25.186)

And we put that ribbon in a pile and that is still a raw edge. Like that’s what I’m really protecting and honoring right now because I and learning to bring in spiritual support. Like asking, I stopped when I left the church because I really left the church as my marriage dissolved. I knew it was not a safe place to navigate our experience and

 

Meagan Skidmore (33:52.496)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (33:55.88)

It is just fascinating to me how I now, I can ask for support in protecting my energy and protecting this gorgeous work I’m doing with clients in protecting my heart. And I am surrendering to being held in a relationship that is healthy for me. But I’m also like I’m holding myself. I’m creating a lifestyle where I.

 

can on my knowing is everything and it’s fleshy now it’s not it doesn’t need to be protected it’s soft.

 

Meagan Skidmore (34:32.718)

My knowing is fleshy right now. That’s so beautiful.

 

Diana Murphy (34:35.246)

It was protected by this icy shield. Like I did my first energy session with Lindsay Pullman because I was, it was, she was doing and is doing betrayal work and she was in a cohort and I immediately hired her and Sarah was my next coach. They both were in my cohort with Karin Gillen and I was really surrounded by what I needed and I, oh yes.

 

Meagan Skidmore (34:56.634)

That’s fantastic.

 

Meagan Skidmore (35:01.626)

Lindsay’s so good. I did her trauma informed certification. So good.

 

Diana Murphy (35:05.292)

Yes, yeah. And so to have, like, I was being held. I had support to do some very brave steps. And to be very brave and honest with my kids as they’re navigating dynamics of having, you know, more adult relationships with their parents in a separate household.

 

Meagan Skidmore (35:14.458)

Hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (35:24.728)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (35:30.244)

You’ve mentioned some really key concepts that I just want to reiterate, honor. You talked about how you have learned, probably are still continuing to, but that you can hold your divine feminine energy safely and you are now trusting others to do that as well. So the trust, that’s such a huge part of any transformative growth process and also the surrendering.

 

Diana Murphy (35:32.738)

Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (35:43.874)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (35:48.716)

Yes, I know when. Yes.

 

Diana Murphy (36:01.39)

I was confused by my own protecting my current partner who in not even in my head in my heart I knew was safe. I have been my full self with him for the two years we’ve been almost two years we’ve been together and in a session with Sarah I could see that that was of my own making that that energy field and it was that realization that I could surrender and let it go I didn’t need it anymore.

 

Meagan Skidmore (36:02.286)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (36:16.717)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (36:31.19)

I understood my purpose for creating it. I allowed support and help to let it dissolve and surrender and saw a deep understanding that he kind of knew what he was signing up for. He’s like, he knows that part of me.

 

Meagan Skidmore (36:33.818)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (36:37.562)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (36:47.578)

I think that knowing and add the trust is what equals surrender. What gets us to that point of, okay, I know enough, I feel grounded, I can release because I can trust whose hands I’m in. Yeah, such a beautiful story.

 

Diana Murphy (36:51.054)

Yeah.

 

Yeah.

 

Yeah. Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (37:10.947)

Yes.

 

And by releasing some of the good girl part and what does a good wife do, and really allowing through my relationship right now, it was a gorgeous ground for both of us to release the structures and things that did not serve us any longer. We were able to look back at our respective marriages, love our family, our kids.

 

Meagan Skidmore (37:36.73)

Mm-hmm.

 

Diana Murphy (37:42.698)

Love what we, all four of us were great parents. Like we, it was a good thing. There were a lot of, there’s a lot of good in that season. But to be able to release, like, and I, we now are like, almost have a bullshit meter, but it’s, like we really have that sensitivity to each other. like, really? Really?

 

Meagan Skidmore (37:47.396)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (38:02.745)

That’s not a bad thing to have.

 

Diana Murphy (38:06.382)

It’s not a bad thing. We can have it with coaches. mean, Sarah’s like onto us within a second flash. knows us so well. It’s so sensitive. we are both such sensitive creatures, my current partner and I, that we give each other that gift of honoring that true essence of each other. And I’ve never, I mean, I’ve never had that experience.

 

Meagan Skidmore (38:12.023)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (38:30.059)

I love that you called it a gift because in fact that really is what it is. Honoring the true essence. The divine in me sees the divine in you. Yeah, love that. Well, my last question that I always love to ask, I love the insights from my guests, is what does it mean to you to live beyond the shadow of doubt?

 

Diana Murphy (38:38.574)

Define in you.

 

Diana Murphy (39:00.43)

This deep knowing that my knowing is spot on and is a gorgeous compass, but I don’t have to do it by myself. And I can welcome in support and guidance in ways that I think I’m yet to understand.

 

Diana Murphy (39:25.678)

And I know I have big things to keep doing on this earth. And I welcome what I’m called to do.

 

Meagan Skidmore (39:25.923)

gorgeous compass.

 

Meagan Skidmore (39:35.322)

I know you do too. I know you do too. Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us. I just have a few for fun questions I like to throw out. I’m just looking for one, maybe two word answers just for our listeners to get to know you a little bit better. Tell us your favorite book or whatever you’re reading right now. Favorite book.

 

Diana Murphy (39:40.376)

Thank you.

 

Diana Murphy (39:46.54)

Okay.

 

Diana Murphy (39:52.812)

It’s for fun. Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (40:01.71)

gosh. I’m forgetting the author, but she’s written atmosphere. So I’m reading a lot of fiction that helps me go to sleep. But I’m realizing I love watching the Ted Lasso’s, the well-developed characters that are humaning, that are doing the messy middle. So there’s not one thing. I’m really honoring.

 

Meagan Skidmore (40:23.327)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Me too.

 

Diana Murphy (40:29.614)

And I used to be the one that watched, I still do, but I used to be the one that watched very violent and police TV and other things. It’s very interesting. It’s like my little… I know. I know. It’s just one of those things. I think it was a little bit of my dad. He loved that kind of stuff and a well-written, but that, yes. So it’s really leaning into really watching other people humaning and…

 

Meagan Skidmore (40:38.777)

I would never have guessed that about you. I never ever in a million years.

 

Okay, okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (40:57.817)

You

 

Diana Murphy (40:58.474)

embracing the messiness and the love and the truth.

 

Meagan Skidmore (41:03.289)

I love that so, much. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

 

Diana Murphy (41:09.054)

very extrovert. I get so much energy being in community. But I have learned a rhythm that is very introverted looking. so I have a very, negotiating cohabitation is going to be interesting because I have, I really love my sacred alone time. And that is really new for an extrovert.

 

Meagan Skidmore (41:25.858)

You

 

Meagan Skidmore (41:34.509)

I think that’s healthy.

 

Diana Murphy (41:37.612)

that has been in sales and been in, yeah, so I am an extrovert, but I’m understanding a sacred rhythm. That’s what it really is.

 

Meagan Skidmore (41:44.482)

I think that’s so healthy. The older I get, I think that’s for all of us. The more kind of in love you become with yourself and get to know that divine essence that you really are. I believe a natural occurrence is you truly crave that one-on-one time. That’s the best way can think of calling it.

 

Diana Murphy (41:47.736)

Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (41:54.753)

Yes.

 

Diana Murphy (42:07.042)

Yeah, My healthiest, it was only a few weekends before I met Eric and it was really learning to date myself. And I’ve always had done things in reaction. had a 90 % travel, I was a travel widow. Like I knew how to do things by myself. But this was different. And it was that beginning of coming home.

 

Meagan Skidmore (42:32.835)

Fascinating.

 

Diana Murphy (42:35.422)

myself and enjoying my own company. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (42:36.793)

love that. I love that. Tell us your favorite artist.

 

Diana Murphy (42:42.582)

Hmm, this one. So this is Blaine McCauley. She is the daughter of a realtor that actually helped me with one transaction. I had this the first time I had a significant amount of money in my business, I wanted to have a background that was me. And so I commissioned this painting.

 

Meagan Skidmore (42:46.379)

Okay, is that a family member?

 

Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (43:09.049)

It’s so gorgeous. I’ve been admiring it.

 

Diana Murphy (43:10.71)

Yeah, and I love buying jewelry. And so I don’t have one specific but now I’m honoring in my trying to be minimalist. am minimalist. But buying jewelry that’s art. And not bringing things in the home without it having like the right energy or purpose. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (43:24.481)

Mm-hmm.

 

having a purpose. I’m trying to do the minimalist thing too. It’s a work in great progress. A great work in progress. Okay, tell us are you a night owl or a morning lark?

 

Diana Murphy (43:32.354)

Yeah. Yes. Right.

 

Diana Murphy (43:42.092)

Both. I hate that about myself. my God. During the summer, I’m more a night owl and it can catch me. And so I’m now putting myself to bed at 10 45 and that’s working best. And so I get up at five now. It’s just, there could be next month. It might be night owl again. It’s fine. I just honor when the rhythm hits, but the long days are different energy for me.

 

Meagan Skidmore (43:43.523)

That’s good. No, no, I think.

 

Meagan Skidmore (43:50.649)

you

 

Yeah, I feel that.

 

I feel that.

 

you

 

Meagan Skidmore (44:06.892)

Yeah, for sure. Tell us your celebrity crush.

 

Diana Murphy (44:09.768)

Matthew McConaughey, for sure. sure. Yeah, it’s a good one.

 

Meagan Skidmore (44:14.259)

That’s a good one to have. Do you do still or carbonated water or are you a diet soda fan or something else?

 

Diana Murphy (44:19.316)

Lots of carbonated water. am sober two years now also. I like spin drift. We’re drifties. We will like talk about our weekend and go, my God, we had, we’re filling the recycle bin. We’ll have had 10 drifties.

 

Meagan Skidmore (44:23.788)

Congratulations.

 

That’s yummy.

 

Meagan Skidmore (44:32.418)

Mm-hmm.

 

There’s one flavor that I really love of Spindrift. It’s a pink can. It’s got a little green.

 

Diana Murphy (44:39.35)

Okay, grapefruit? There’s pink grapefruit, raspberry, lemonade, there’s some, it is, and I don’t even, it’s a seasonal or I haven’t been able to find it. Yeah. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (44:44.14)

That’s what it is. Yeah, it’s the raspberry one. It’s so good. Yeah, that one’s really good. And finally, the furthest place you’ve traveled.

 

Diana Murphy (44:54.354)

I’ve been around the world. went on semester at sea as a student in 1980, and I left LA, and I landed in Baltimore. And I went through 100 days, which is a semester, with professors on board and went to school. And that was my junior year, my junior spring. And yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (44:57.076)

It sounds like it from being the widow.

 

Meagan Skidmore (45:04.695)

my goodness.

 

Meagan Skidmore (45:09.741)

Mm-hmm.

 

Meagan Skidmore (45:16.408)

Holy cow, did you sail around the southern tip of South America?

 

Diana Murphy (45:20.814)

We did Pacific Rim and then cut through the Suez Canal. And we were literally in the Suez Canal when the failed rescue attempt for the Iranian hostages happened. This is how old I am, that was 1980. And then we went through the Mediterranean and then went home. Yeah, it was quite that, without internet. Like I called my parents once. I called my parents once and thank God they were home. There wasn’t even an answering machine.

 

Meagan Skidmore (45:25.976)

Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (45:34.168)

scary.

 

Bye.

 

Meagan Skidmore (45:41.304)

can imagine.

 

Meagan Skidmore (45:51.446)

Wow, wow, what an experience.

 

Diana Murphy (45:52.162)

Yeah, was wild, yeah. And I did it kind of myself. There were other sorority sisters and people because the campus host was my campus, University of Colorado at the time. Yeah. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (46:00.62)

Mm-hmm.

 

That’s amazing. I did a semester abroad. It was not on sea, it was on land, but life-changing. So tell us about any offers that you might have or folks that have questions for you.

 

Diana Murphy (46:08.428)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, it is.

 

Diana Murphy (46:17.597)

I always have workshops and I, if you want to connect with me, my website, dianamurphycoaching.com and you can sign up for my email list. I call it community. I then invite people into live workshops. I’m doing some this month, but you know, in timing of the podcast, I don’t know if those will be available, but I gather people.

 

Meagan Skidmore (46:26.296)

Okay. Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (46:41.57)

Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (46:44.246)

Zoom wise and locally here in Atlanta. And I have very short term coaching offers and very long term. And I love both my offers and I love supporting people that if they read a few paragraphs of my website, they know that they’re in the right place and I would love to support them.

 

Meagan Skidmore (46:46.456)

Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (46:52.852)

Okay.

 

Meagan Skidmore (47:00.92)

sweet. So it’s all at your website. We’ll make sure and leave that in the show notes. Diana, it has been so much fun. Thank you so much for taking time out of your schedule. You too. You too.

 

Diana Murphy (47:04.94)

Yeah.

 

Diana Murphy (47:09.316)

you are a No, thank you for the honoring the questions. I love the direction it went and I am glad if it can be of support to anyone just email me Diana at Diana Murphy coaching.com. Want to support other women that are and men. Yep. Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (47:16.972)

Me too.

 

Meagan Skidmore (47:24.184)

Yeah.

 

Meagan Skidmore (47:28.712)

Absolutely. No more, no more us and them. I’m trying to blur those and erase those lines. That’s good. That’s a good thing. Thank you.

 

Diana Murphy (47:32.31)

Yeah, yeah, I’ve always been 50 percent, my practice has always been 50 percent male and female, yeah, which I love. Hi, thank you, Megan. Thank you very much.