Episode 210: Listening to My Higher Self with Denita Bremer

Hey everyone, welcome to today’s episode of Living Beyond the Shadow of Doubt. I’m so grateful to have my friend Danita with me today. This has been in the works for a while, so I’m really glad we made it happen—welcome!

Thanks, Meagan.

You’re so welcome! I’m excited for our guests to get to know you better—your background, your faith journey, the role that questions and doubts have played, and how you’ve claimed your spiritual autonomy and joy. Let’s jump right in—can you share a little bit about yourself?

I’m Danita Bremer. I was born in San Diego but grew up in Eastern Washington in a tiny town called Oroville. I went to school there until 18, then attended the University of Washington in Seattle. I met my husband there. We have three kids—our youngest is about to turn 17, our middle child just graduated and is headed to CU Boulder in the fall, and our oldest studies in the UK and has traveled a lot. All three are home right now, which makes my mother heart happy.

My mom was not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and my dad was, but he was inactive my entire life and still is.

Can you explain what “inactive” means for those not familiar with LDS terms?

Sure. It means he didn’t go to church or live by the standards of the church, but his name was still on the records as a member. For context, my mom was 17 and my dad was 20 when I was born. We needed a lot of financial help growing up. I became part of the church because of my grandparents, who took me and my sister on Sundays.

I lived in a dual world—grandma and grandpa were conservative Christians, but my mom and dad were into drugs and alcohol. When I was a teenager, I stepped away from the church, mainly because I started dating at 14 (we weren’t supposed to date until 16) and my grandparents were very judgmental. Instead of trying to reconcile it, I just stopped going to church.

When I went to college, I had been away for five or six years. I tried to go back a few times during my freshman year but didn’t really know where to go. Eventually, I found my way back and have been very active ever since.

Wow, I didn’t know that about your parents and grandparents. And you grew up in Washington?

Yes.

And now you’re not in Washington anymore?

No, I married the boy I met freshman year of college (he wasn’t a member, which was a whole thing). We lived briefly in the Bay Area and then moved to Denver, where we’ve been for almost 19 years.

You have a unique perspective—seeing different ways of practicing the same religion within your family.

Yes, that’s accurate.

Tell me more about your faith journey and why you chose to come back after five-plus years.

I’ve always been someone who values a moral compass. I think I was drawn to that. Being the oldest daughter, I also felt responsibility to do the “right” thing. I started going to church at six with my grandparents and was baptized at nine (which makes me technically a convert).

A defining moment happened when I was about seven or eight. I was living on my grandparents’ property, and my grandmother was looking for a weed-sprayer jug. We couldn’t find it anywhere. I decided to pray about it. I went to a shady spot, folded my arms, and asked God to help me find it. I immediately felt I should go to the shed, and something like a magnet pulled me to a back corner. Sure enough, it was there.

I didn’t tell my grandma I had prayed, but that moment confirmed for me that God was real and answered my prayers. So when I stopped going to church, I was stepping away from church—not from God.

That’s a beautiful story.

Yes, and I think that early experience helped me know I could build my own relationship with God.

Fast-forwarding to today, can you share how you navigate conflicting energies now?

The biggest challenge has been having an LGBTQ daughter—my oldest. It’s hard to be both LDS and LGBTQ, and I recognize she has her own journey.

When she came out at 16, I had some initial feelings, but I quickly realized her relationship with God is hers, just as mine is mine. My job is to love her.

I appreciate you sharing this. What advice would you give families navigating similar situations?

Think of it like lanes on a freeway—my lane is my relationship with God, her lane is hers. I don’t have to merge into her lane. My job is to love and respect her. I believe in teaching my kids about God and faith so they have a foundation, but after that, it’s their journey.

I have one child who’s fully in the church, one who’s stepped away, and one who’s in-between. It’s fascinating to see each of their journeys.

I love that perspective. Now, tell me where you’ve found joy or “bliss moments” as you’ve stepped into spiritual autonomy.

Faith is comfortable for me. I’m comfortable with not knowing, trusting that God is in control. I think that tolerance for uncertainty is a muscle we build, and I’ve built it over time. I see faith as moving forward despite not having all the answers.

I also believe my purpose is to love—my experiences with family and faith have all been opportunities to deepen that love. For me, love and contentment equal joy.

You embody this in your work as a life coach, right?

Yes, I help women learn to love themselves and others, holding space for all experiences and emotions.

What does living beyond the shadow of doubt mean to you?

To me, it means living unashamed—honoring your personal journey and not feeling shame about what you believe or how you feel.

I love that. How can people reach out to you?

Email me at podcast@denitabremer.com or visit denitabremer.com. I also have a podcast called If I’m So Blessed, Why Can’t I Feel Good?

Perfect. Before we wrap, let’s do some quick fun questions:

Favorite book? Harry Potter.
Introvert or extrovert? Introvert.
Favorite artist? My daughter—she’s an oil painter.
Night owl or morning lark? Night owl who wants to be a morning lark.
Celebrity crush? Pierce Brosnan.
Favorite beverage? Still water.
Furthest place traveled? Greece or Croatia (we lived in Europe for a year).

Danita, it’s been a pleasure. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

Thank you—it’s been lovely.

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