Episode 204: The Joy in Breaking the Silence

Welcome to Living Beyond the Shadow of Doubt. Today’s episode is part three in a series of four. Part one was episode 196, Why We Don’t Speak Up. 

Part two, episode 199, was The Cost of Keeping Quiet. Today, episode 204, is The Joy of Breaking the Silence. How timely was the release of this episode at the beginning of June, which, of course, is Pride Month. 

If there’s ever a time to think about raising your voice, especially for others who may not have as much privilege as you, June is a good time to reflect on that. I’m Megan Skidmore. For two and a half years, I have been talking about evolving faith journeys. 

I started to tire of the heaviness of this focus. I had the clear message come through. It is time for Beyond the Shadow of Doubt podcast to evolve into Living Beyond the Shadow of Doubt podcast. 

With the same vulnerability and unapologetic authenticity, I will be focusing on the joy in this journey, the life and the living that comes on the other side of maybe, on the other side of what’s possible. I want to talk about claiming spiritual sovereignty and becoming your own captain of your vessel. Let’s celebrate releasing what no longer aligns for you and connecting with your higher power and honor expanding your energy field to make room for all things new. 

Mark your calendars and set your reminder. I am hosting First Friday’s free coaching. I hold it on the first Friday of the month. 

You can come and experience what it’s like to be coached or watch someone else be coached. I’m especially excited to share some of what I’m learning in Emotional Alchemy Certification with Master Coach Sarah Trapkis. We’ll talk a bit more about what I’ve addressed in today’s episode and perhaps even unearth some of the hindrances or things getting in the way of you speaking up. 

Use the link to register in order to get the unique Zoom link. They change each month for privacy reasons. See you soon. 

Once you have an inkling or a knowing of what you have been called to say or what you’ve been called to do, it doesn’t mean it comes naturally. It also doesn’t mean you automatically know how to do the thing or say the thing either. And for sure, it doesn’t mean you’re not going to feel uncomfortable. 

And sometimes you’ll even feel a lot of discomfort as you navigate through this process. This journey of following that inkling or following that knowing and take the forks in the road that

you feel called to take. That is where I come in. 

I support folks who are on a path such as this. It’s time to unlock your voice and own it with confidence, with clarity, and from a grounded place, knowing you are following the pathway that is meant for you, that God or the divine or the universe has called you to. Your brain is so smart and knows how to come up with all of the excuses. 

And once it has convinced you that something is true, even if it isn’t, the brain is so efficient and masterful at finding evidence for whatever the thing was, almost to a fault. As they say, the eye sees what the mind looks for. And that’s okay. 

That is what your brain’s job is. You could say, some people call it the lizard brain. That’s pretty rough terms. 

The lizard brain is a term that just describes that primitive or instinctive part of the brain. This is the area associated with basic survival, like fight or flight responses, and where our emotions are produced or reactions occur. There’s also another part of the brain that has the ability to take the reins and say, wait a minute, not so fast. 

I’m not so sure about fill in the blank. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that’s ready to ask, is that really true? And how do you know, or what else could be true? The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that engages reasoning, critical thinking, evaluation, and decision-making skills. It’s higher level thinking that with practice and implement the pause between stimulus and response. 

This is where our power lies. We tend to listen less to that voice of the prefrontal cortex, the voice of reason, because it may be scarier or might require more of us and doing or saying things that will take us way out of our comfort zones. However, when you are able to connect with your inner knowing, that divinity within you, that is within each of us, then all the noise outside of you begins to fall away. 

The distractions that surround you, the static, the fuzz, whatever that’s prompting thoughts of incapability, or why me, I could never do this, and so on, those begin to dissolve. Emotional alchemy is modality that I am learning and have experienced personally, that is a way I have been able to directly, we could say, confront these big emotions, see them, hold them, learn 

from them, and then metabolize them, move through them, and alchemize them into something with a greater purpose, more productive, something with purpose and momentum and belief behind it. This is a process that we can repeat as many times as needed, because emotions are always going to come up. 

I share an excerpt from a blog post written by my friend Ben Shalady, a gay man of conservative Christian faith, the LDS faith, and how he came to alchemize feelings of shame related to his identity. He says, I remember times in my 20s when I would have been relieved if I had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I would have been free of same-sex attraction, my

suffering would be over, and I could die a hero. 

Being dead and straight was a better option than being alive and gay. That’s what shame did to me. It made me want to be dead. 

Overcoming that shame took years. The antonyms of pride, depression, gloom, melancholy, were often present in my life whenever I thought about dating, marriage, or my future. I don’t feel those feelings anymore when I think about my sexuality. 

The shame is gone. I now accept my sexual orientation as something that I couldn’t change. It’s a part of me, and I want to live for a very long time. 

My outlook has completely shifted from wanting to be dead to wanting to live a long, full life. And isn’t that something worth celebrating? He goes on towards the end, the way I show my pride is by telling my story. I show my pride by allowing myself to be seen. 

I show my pride by inviting others to walk in my shoes. And if the word pride makes you uncomfortable, here are some synonyms that might be easier to relate to. Dignity, self-respect, and honor. 

Gay dignity means that I am comfortable being myself around others. Gay self-respect means that I welcome all parts of me as important ingredients to who I am. Gay honor means that I no longer want to die because of my orientation. 

He finishes, June is a healing celebratory month for so many people. I hope that we can celebrate our lives and who we are and who we want to become throughout the year. I hope that everyone, every person, especially those who have been previously weighed down by shame, feel an overwhelming sense of dignity, self-respect, and honor.” Ben illustrates so well 

this idea of stepping into our truth and owning it and sharing it. 

And I have learned that by me sharing my truth, my story, it’s an unspoken invitation for others to share theirs. They know that I’m a safe space. And so I look for opportunities to share. 

There is so much joy in breaking your silence. There is so much healing in breaking your silence. There is so much connection, understanding, and perspective shifts on a fundamental level to be experienced when we share our stories, when we share our truth, when we own who we are, what our message is, what we came here to say, what we came here to do. 

Thank you so much for being here with me. Until next time. Visit inskidmorecoaching.com to find this podcast and additional free resources, including the link for a complimentary coaching session. 

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