Episode 188: I Define My Walk with God, with Nicole Roufs

Hey, everybody! Welcome to today’s episode of Living Beyond the Shadow of Doubt.

I am Megan Skidmore, your host, and I have Nicole Roufs with me here today as part of my month-long JOA Joan of Arc Book Club. You are bringing up the rear—not quite the caboose.

But yeah, I’m so excited that we were able to make this work and meet today. So welcome.

Thank you. I’m so excited, Megan, to be here. You’ve been rocking out all of these podcasts, and it’s an honor to be one of them. So I’m glad we were able to connect as well.

Me too. I feel the same. It’s an honor to have you on. So let’s let the folks get to know Nicole and all of the things that you’d like for them to know about you.

Oh, I feel like this is my weakness. I’m not a good, like, “Hey, this is me.” I don’t know. I am Nicole. I am my job, my passion, my love of what I do to help people every day. I am a business coach and consultant for small businesses, and I just love helping women create the business that they were really intended to birth when they said, “I’m going to be a small business owner,” and just help them really create strategies and a community around them. So we say business shouldn’t be done alone, and so much of small business is little solo islands—we’re all doing things alone. So my thing has just been to collaborate and communicate and just be around good people and help people really get to that next level of what they’re doing.

I am the mom of three adult children, which is crazy. We’ve talked about having adult children—it’s crazy. My daughter’s 21, and my boys are 23 and 25, which is insane. They were just 2, 4, and 6. So I don’t know where time goes, but they are my favorite humans on the planet, and I’m so dang blessed to be their mama.

Let’s see, what else? I moved to Arizona almost five years ago. That’s one of my favorite things. I moved from Minneapolis to Arizona, and that is absolutely such a good change. I lived almost 40 years in the tundra cold, and I’m still just thawing out here. So it’s been good.

So I mean, I feel like that’s the basics.

Yeah, that’s great. Share with us also—did you grow up in a specific faith of origin? Kind of share a little bit of insight into that part of your life.

No, I actually grew up with nothing, which is like—I don’t know. I feel like in some ways it was maybe a blessing, because I didn’t know. But then I also didn’t know until I started having my children. When I had my oldest son, I always knew that there was more, like I always knew that I was protected or something was with me, but I didn’t know—it wasn’t talked about in my family.

In fact, my mom passed away when I was nine, and my family—we didn’t even go on Christmas or any type of spiritual things. But as soon as my mom passed away, I think it scared them also. They baptized my brother and I, and so that was my first, “Oh, what is this?” type of thing. But then it wasn’t talked about. It wasn’t anything.

Fast forward to me having my first son, and it’s his first Easter, and I was literally reading him a book on Easter, and I was like, “Wow, I didn’t even know that stuff.” It’s kind of crazy. I just really like self-taught. And like I said, I’ve always known and felt protected.

In fact, I think the book that I’m writing will be something about—yeah, there’s a whole—there’s lots of layers we could go.

Can’t wait to hear about the book. Can I ask when you say you were baptized, what faith of origin was that?

I believe it was Catholic. I actually don’t even know. Isn’t that crazy? But I feel like—so then I was actually married Catholic. That was an interesting thing. My ex-husband was Catholic, did all the things. So we married Catholic, baptized my babies Catholic, and in fact, when I started to read, I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is amazing. I love God. I love spirituality. I love all the things.” My son actually went to a Catholic school for kindergarten.

I mean, I don’t know how deep we want to go, but I ended up being a foster mother to my nephew and niece. So we had five kids, seven and under, for an entire year. It was crazy and beautiful and all the things. But I went to the church to see if I could get my nephew enrolled to go to first grade with my son, and I remember sitting there with the priest, and he would not let my nephew come to school there because he had illegitimate parents.

Oh, wow.

That’s not that long ago.

Oh, it was less than 20 years ago, which is crazy. I mean, that makes me feel so old. But it was one of the saddest things. And so we pulled my son, and he didn’t go there either. I was like, “Well, this is not the energy and the vibration and the love that I think my God has.” So it didn’t sit well. We pulled him out.

I went from being nothing to loving the community, the sacredness. I taught Sunday school. It felt really good. And then that happened, and it ruffled my world a bit. Then chaos with the kids, got divorced, shame—all of the things that come with that.

But I’ve always, always, always known that my angels have been with me, that God is with me and helping me and surrounding me. I just didn’t know what that looked like for a while. I’ve always felt that energy around me. For a while, I thought it was crystals or energy or whatever—and that’s fine, it was part of my journey.

But now I’ve learned, no, it’s just Jesus. He was with me the whole time. I just didn’t know how to name it perfectly or what that looked like.

Now I very much have a church that I go to. It’s very Jesus-focused. It’s not religious. I feel like that traumatized me, like a lot of people have religious trauma, and if they don’t, that’s amazing. But really just knowing that it’s my walk with God. It’s my plan, and I get to do it how I want. I don’t have to answer to anybody.

I feel like I’m kind of just coming into this place of—well, maybe I’d call it a midlife crisis. I’m single now. My kids are adults. I’m doing all the things. I’m just finding myself and what that means for me.

That’s a beautiful place to be in. Thank you for sharing all of that.

This is a less common situation where I have a guest that doesn’t really have a faith background. You had quite an open upbringing, right?

And so in some ways, when I think about the decision you made when the Catholic priest said no to your nephew, you were like, “Okay, we’re moving on.” You didn’t necessarily have some of that conditioning that might have made you stay.

I’ve thought about that often, actually. I feel like not having had that, I didn’t have the weight of other people’s expectations. It was a blessing and a curse to not have all that other stuff piled on me—what I “should” be doing.

And yet you still had—your body was in tune with some surrounding presence or energy.

Yeah. And I joke, but not really. My mom passed when I was nine, and I never knew my dad. There’s a whole story there. I thought my brother’s dad was my dad, but he wasn’t. So I grew up without parents. I lived with my aunt—she did the best she could, but she was mourning her sister, too.

Even though I didn’t have an earthly father, I’ve always known there’s a Heavenly Father. That’s part of the book I’m writing. It comes through strong. Maybe because I didn’t have all those other influences. I don’t know. But I’ve felt very protected and taken care of—even though statistically I probably shouldn’t have been.

Regardless of our upbringing, or what teachings we’re introduced to, I’ve found that joy and sovereignty come when you reclaim your spiritual autonomy. Have you had specific practices, beliefs, or rituals that have brought you new life?

Yes. Morning prayer, journaling, meditation, quiet time. Asking to receive information. I love to hike—when I feel unsettled or need to make a decision, I go hike. It helps drown out the noise.

It’s not magic—it doesn’t work every time. Sometimes I get crickets. But if I keep showing up consistently, that’s where I win in faith. Journaling, praying, my coffee and puppy time. And when needed, hiking. And also surrounding myself with people I can go to for support.

So when there are crickets, you keep showing up?

Yes. That’s not to say I don’t get angry or impatient. I’m human. I want answers now. But I’ve had seasons where I heard, “Not yet. Just wait.” And I’m like, “Put me in the game, God! I’m ready!” Patience is not one of my strengths.

Was this about your business?

Mostly, yes. And coming out of a relationship, feeling like I’d learned the lesson and was ready for the next stage. But I had to sit in the middle a bit longer. God’s plan is bigger than mine—even when Controlzilla wants to take over.

I love that term. Teresa from the Mosaic group says that.

She’s amazing—one of my favorite humans. That phrase really stuck with me. Patience is hard. The messy middle is hard. But that’s where the growth happens. I see it now as a mom watching my adult kids go through it. I want to fix it—I’m a helper—but their messy middle is their story. Their journey.

At first, I wanted them to avoid everything I went through. I wanted their lives to be perfect. Then they became teenagers, and that changed real quick. I adopted my nephew, so I had four teenagers at once. But I learned their struggles are making them strong and grateful.

One of the ways I navigated that was telling myself: if they’re going to go through hard things, I’d rather it happen under my roof, where they have a safe landing spot. Then they’re more equipped when they’re on their own.

That’s my hope too. They have a good foundation. I did the best I could. I’ve never prayed more than I have for my children.

Let’s talk about your connection to the JOA Collective, Joan of Arc Publishing, and the Mosaic network—and the book you mentioned.

I was part of Kiera’s Mosaic launch and one of the first members. I rebranded in Nebraska with Juliet, and Olive & Oak was a birth-child of Tally Creative. Then last fall, I met Kiera in person at a retreat in Arizona. Melissa Methven had a book launch, and Kiera was there. She asked me to audit her business—I did that for five months.

It was an honor. I knew the amazing women in the group, and her impact is huge. It also helped me pivot from coach to consultant. I’ve got a retreat coming, too.

When I first met Kiera, I said, “I don’t have a book.” She said, “That’s okay, we’ll just talk.” But I kept hearing, “You have a book.” And now I know—I do. It’s coming fast and furious. I feel like I’m overdue, and I need to listen and let it birth.

Do you have a title?

It’ll be something like Fatherless Daughter—about finding my faith, living in the human realm, and knowing I’ve always been protected and guided. It’s been hard and terrible at times, too, but there’s more out there. That’s what my human brain says now—but we’ll see what comes through.

I remember those morning Instagram book channeling sessions. I did one too—I’ll go back and look for yours.

That was probably two or three years ago. And yes, I have a retreat coming in April in Scottsdale.

CEO Reset & Rise Retreat—April 24–26. Women in business have so much on their plates. About a year and a half ago, I pivoted to do immersive weekends. Now I’m offering a group version—focused time, massive progress, clear Monday mornings.

Collaboration and community are priceless. That’s what I love most—connecting like-minded women. It’s coming soon, and I’m excited.

I love the idea of a CEO reset. That’s perfect.

We’ll leave links in the show notes for people to access.

One last question: What does living beyond the shadow of doubt mean to you?

It means trying to be as authentic to yourself as you can. Don’t let the outside noise tell you who to be, how to be, what to do.

The doubts often move us further away from our authentic selves and scare away the inklings to be vulnerable. Beautifully said.

So, for fun, just a few quick questions! One to two word answers.

Favorite book?

I just finished The Prayer of Jabez yesterday. Powerful book about living a blessed life. Quick read—I read it poolside in one sitting.

Introvert or extrovert?

Honestly both. Probably 50/50. I love people, but I love my quiet time too. So if I had to pick, extrovert.

Favorite artist?

Oh, I used to say Britney Spears. Sad now. But probably Morgan Wallen—he was my #1 on Spotify.

Morning lark or night owl?

Morning girl, for sure. I love early mornings and the sunrise.

Celebrity crush?

Matthew McConaughey—his energy, presence. It changes, but I’ll go with him today.

Still, carbonated, or diet soda?

Straight water. I don’t like carbonation or flavor. Maybe cucumber water occasionally.

Furthest place you’ve traveled?

Bali. Went eight years ago. Amazing, beautiful, affordable once you’re there. Highly recommend.

I can hear your Minnesotan accent now!

I know! People here in Arizona always call it out. I say “bag,” and they’re like, “You’re not from here.”

Tell folks where they can connect with you.

Website: olivenoakcoaching.com
Instagram: @CoachNicoleRoufs
Facebook: Coach Nicole Roufs
Email: nicole@olivenoakcoaching.com

Awesome. I’ll leave those in the show notes. It’s been so fun getting to know you—and hearing your Minnesotan accent!

Seriously, this has been great. Thank you!

Same to you, my dear. Can’t wait to have you on my podcast soon!

Would love it!

Yay!