Episode 180: No More Hiding with Melissa Methven

Welcome everyone to today’s episode of Living Beyond the Shadow of Doubt.

I have my dear friend Melissa with me. Thank you so much, Melissa, for taking time and coming and joining me.

I am so honored. Ever since we have been on our Zoom meetings, and as a fellow author, and to finally meet you in person a few weeks ago, I really connected to you, and I can’t wait for your book to come out. So the honor is mine.

Oh, thank you. I feel the same about you. It was an incredible room of folks. I so appreciated being there, and I loved meeting you in person, too.

So let’s dive right in. I would love to share with my listeners all about you if you’ll start off just telling us about your background—kind of your origin story.

Yes, so I’m originally from Quebec City, Canada. My first language is French, and then we moved when I was about 6 years old. My mom, a single mom, decided to move us to Vancouver, British Columbia, where I grew up. She worked so hard for me and was always a big believer in her faith in God. She put me in a Catholic private school when we moved to Vancouver.

So I grew up always having faith. We weren’t going to church every Sunday, but God was definitely something she would teach me about. She’s always been very spiritual. I learned English in Vancouver, and I went to dental hygiene school—though before that, I actually wanted to be a naturopath or a physical therapist. That’s what I studied initially.

I pivoted in my studies when I got offered a job as a flight attendant on a private jet at 23. That was so much fun. I still remember, I had paid all my tuition with loans and was mid-semester with chemistry, kinesiology, and all the things, when a friend asked if I wanted to start in two weeks. I withdrew from my classes because I knew the opportunity wouldn’t always be there.

I flew around the world for a couple of years with a former president, artists, and celebrities. I was pinching myself for that opportunity. I worked with my best friend, my soul sister, who’s in Sweden now. Then I met my husband, a dentist from Michigan who was living in Alaska. I started commuting from Vancouver to Alaska. He suggested I go into dental hygiene so I could work at his practice. I graduated in 2009 and have been in the career for 15 years.

I have two children—a 9-year-old boy and an 11-year-old girl. We moved to Gilbert, Arizona, two years ago after living in Wasilla, Alaska, for 16 years. Alaska was beautiful and a great place to raise kids outdoors, but the long dark winters and constant daylight in summer were hard. I had insomnia that first summer, and in winter, working indoors without sun was tough.

My husband and I worked together for many years at his dental practice. But even early in our relationship, he had back pain from dentistry. That, combined with the pressures of running a practice, led to opioid use for pain, and eventually alcohol. In March 2022, he died by suicide.

I knew then I had to use my voice—no more hiding behind our smiles. That’s why I wrote The Truth Behind the Smiles. We had hidden so much, and I wanted to break that pattern for future generations. I was very open in his obituary, stating he died by suicide, and even included the national hotline number.

It wasn’t easy, but God gave me strength to say the word “suicide” openly. I did a lot of therapy, somatic work, and healing. I also started asking myself why I didn’t fall into the same darkness, because we lived so isolated on 50 acres, with no neighbors. I read books, listened to podcasts, and studied what others did to get through darkness. I knew I had to be there for my kids—they couldn’t lose another parent.

The best advice I got was to seek help for myself first. My kids would look to me. Now, I’m surrounded by healers, counselors, and therapists. Healing will be a lifelong journey, especially with the guilt and shame that can follow suicide. Survivors often replay the “what ifs,” but I had to live in the now.

That took a lot of mind training. I’ve always believed in God and loved Wayne Dyer’s teachings about changing your thoughts. I kept reminders in my kitchen. I’d make priority lists during overwhelming days, and once the kids came home, I was fully present with them.

A friend made a calming corner in my room with essential oils, breathwork cards, and feeling charts for the kids. We’d go there almost nightly—one-on-one—to talk about feelings and use tools like breathwork, drawing, journaling, or moving our bodies. I’ve since recreated it in Arizona with singing bowls, drums, yoga cards—it’s my morning prayer spot.

I also had to learn to ask for help, after years of being hyper-independent. I began incorporating meditation and breathwork, even in the car, and shifted my thoughts in the mornings. When we moved here and the kids started school, I finally decompressed after months in fight-or-flight.

My relationship with God changed a lot. As a girl, I enjoyed Catholic school, but in high school, certain teachings didn’t make sense to me, and I moved away from the religion. I wasn’t in any faith when I met my husband, but after having kids, I wanted some foundation for them. I started taking them to a non-denominational Christian church in Wasilla, which felt so different—more community-based, with music and relatable messages. My husband never joined us, but I prayed often, especially to Archangels for protection.

When my husband passed, I saw God had been there all along. For example, we were in Maui when it happened. I was on the beach with my kids when I felt a strong nudge to text him. He replied with “Don’t come up, send security.” That nudge from God got me there early. At the hospital, though he was brain dead, I prayed with him, forgave him, and played his favorite music. A tear ran down his face—I knew his soul was there.

Since then, my faith has grown. I’ve read about near-death experiences and had visions—like seeing him hug our kids. I now move through life surrendered, asking and receiving guidance.

On the other side of this journey, I’ve found joy in knowing we are never alone. I believe our loved ones stay near. I’ve also learned to look for lessons in challenges, even small ones.

My book was published June 22, 2024, and is being translated into French, with my 96-year-old grandfather helping edit. I wrote it after attending a writing retreat in January 2024, which was life-changing. I had planned to write only about our story and the dark side of dentistry, but also included a chapter on divisiveness, encouraging bridge-building across differences.

To me, living beyond the shadow of doubt means peace, freedom, excitement, and following my divine path—even when surprised by where it leads. I never could have imagined writing a book, being on TV, or living here, but here I am.

Fun questions:

• Favorite book: Wayne Dyer’s Inspiration.

• Introvert or extrovert: Introvert.

• Favorite artist: Young Sam Kim—he painted a vision I had of dancing with God.

• Night owl or morning person: Morning (5 AM club).

• Celebrity crush: Chris Hemsworth.

• Still or carbonated water: Still.

• Furthest traveled: Papua New Guinea/Australia.

You can find Melissa at melissagratitude.life and on Instagram @melissa_gratitude. Her book is available on Amazon and Audible, recorded in her own voice.