Episode 164: The Soul Soldier with Lindsay Taylor

Meagan Skidmore (she/her): Welcome everyone to today’s episode in my month‑long series of the JOA Book Club. I’m so excited to have my next guest with me. Lindsay, welcome to the podcast.

Lindsay: Thank you so much for having me. Seriously, when I met you, you were just a ray of light. You asked me to come on, and I said I would love to because your energy is beautiful. I love what you’re doing.

Meagan Skidmore (she/her): Absolutely. Because I’m keeping these a little shorter than my regular episodes, let’s jump right in. Tell everyone a bit about you—your background, where you’ve come from.

Lindsay: I grew up with my mom, dad, and twin sister. I also have two older half‑siblings, but they were much older and didn’t live with us. So it was mostly just me, my sister, and my parents—very stereotypical upper‑middle‑class family. My parents were really supportive, and I had a close relationship with my grandparents, especially my grandma.

Faith‑wise, we didn’t go to church for the first 12 years of my life. Then, when my sister and I started middle school, my parents decided to start attending a Lutheran church—my dad’s background. I think they felt it was important as we entered our teen years to have that foundation. It was actually a great experience. I was confirmed, volunteered as an acolyte, helped with Vacation Bible School. Church gave me a sense of belonging, which is so crucial in middle school. It became a safe place.

In high school, church became more sporadic for me. I got busy, and it wasn’t a priority, even though my parents kept going. By late high school, I started to veer away, and into my twenties I realized religion felt limiting. I shifted toward more spiritual beliefs—that it wasn’t just one narrow way, but something bigger. The exclusivity of Christianity (“accept Jesus or you don’t go to heaven”) didn’t sit right with me.

When I was 18, I met my husband and stepped into raising his two kids, a toddler and a newborn. We had them full‑time, so I consider them my own. Later, I finished my bachelor’s in social work before having two more daughters. We now have four kids, and being a mom is my greatest joy and accomplishment.

Fast‑forward to March 2020: my oldest, Alex, began struggling with heavy marijuana use, which escalated during the pandemic. He quit competitive gymnastics, got into skateboarding, and fell into crowds with more substance use. Things spiraled—he ran away, and eventually lived with friends. That summer, when he was about to start senior year, I had my first moment of truly turning back to God. I was physically sick with worry and grief. I prayed: “God, what do I do?” The answer was clear: surrender. That moment shifted everything. I realized I couldn’t control him. His path was his. All I could do was turn inward, surrender him to God, and focus on how I could show up better.

That surrender brought me peace, even though the chaos continued. In 2021, things worsened. Alex admitted trying fentanyl. We hospitalized him, then arranged for him to stay with his biological mom. Around that time, a conversation with my personal trainer led me to join an Alpha group—a space for people newer to faith or questioning. I was resistant, but eventually said yes. Two weeks later, I lost a student I was mentoring to suicide. That same week Alex was preparing to come home. I was already grieving my student when, just seven days later, we got the call: Alex had overdosed on fentanyl. He didn’t survive.

That loss shattered me. But looking back, I see God was preparing me. Alpha, my community, and unexpected support held me up during that time. Around then, I also met a psychic medium who said things that profoundly shifted my grief. Through it all, instead of turning away, my faith cracked wide open. I began experiencing God in undeniable ways.

I returned to church in August 2021—still resistant at first. I continue to wrestle with certain Christian teachings, but I’ve developed a relationship with Jesus. I take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Today I would say I’m deeply spiritual, connected to God, and open. Miracles continue to unfold in my life.

One recent example: at a Mosaic Network event, Kira Brinton introduced Mosaic Masters, a $77,000 program. I felt a strong pull to join but didn’t know how I’d afford it. I prayed, simply: “God, if it’s meant to be, make it happen.” Within an hour, a woman from my group called me. She had lost her husband to suicide and felt God was telling her to pay my way into the program. That moment was life‑changing. She reminded me: “It’s not me. It’s God.” Stories like that show me God shows up—in big and small ways.

My book, The Rise of a Soul Soldier, tells this story. Kira once told me, “You’re a fighter. You’ve endured so much darkness, and yet you keep returning to sit with others in theirs.” That’s where the title came from. The book shares my own journey, others’ stories of overcoming addiction and suicidal ideation, and guides readers to explore their own caves—their darkest places—and see how the cave can turn toward hope.

To me, people battling addiction or suicidal ideation are warriors, no less than cancer survivors. Choosing to live another day is strength beyond measure. Even if we lose some in the battle, their fight is never lost. My son’s death transformed me into a stronger soldier in this battleground of life.

Meagan Skidmore (she/her): That’s beautifully said. To close, what does it mean to you to live beyond the shadow of doubt?

Lindsay: It means honoring that pain and joy coexist. I’ve faced deep pain and grief, but also incredible blessings and joy. Living beyond the shadow of doubt means embracing both, always.

Meagan Skidmore (she/her): So beautifully said. Your book is going to activate so many soul soldiers who don’t yet see their own strength. Thank you for sharing your story. Before we go, a few fun questions: What’s your favorite book?

Lindsay: The Invisible Thread.

Meagan Skidmore (she/her): Introvert or extrovert?

Lindsay: Extrovert.

Meagan Skidmore (she/her): Favorite artist?

Lindsay: Jelly Roll. His story resonates deeply with me.

Meagan Skidmore (she/her): Night owl or morning lark?

Lindsay: Naturally a night owl, but life has made me a morning person.

Meagan Skidmore (she/her): Celebrity crush?

Lindsay: Matthew McConaughey.

Meagan Skidmore (she/her): Beverage of choice?

Lindsay: Still water.

Meagan Skidmore (she/her): Furthest place you’ve traveled?

Lindsay: Either the British Virgin Islands or Alaska—I can’t decide which is farther.

Meagan Skidmore (she/her): Love it. Where can people connect with you?

Lindsay: Instagram: @soul_soldier. I also created a Facebook group called Soul Soldier Community for those struggling with addiction, suicidal ideation, or loss. And I just launched a podcast, Soul Soldier Speaks.

Meagan Skidmore (she/her): Perfect—we’ll link those in the show notes. Thank you, Lindsay. You are a light and a blessing to so many.

Lindsay: Thank you so much for having me.