Anita and her husband (Ben) have been active in the LDS church their entire lives. Six years ago their family’s story had a “plot twist” when their oldest child came out as queer at the age of 18. This led to Anita’s deconstruction and reconstruction of her faith so that she can stay connected to God and her faith, even when things are hard at church. Today, two of their kids are out as transgender or gender non-conforming as well as queer. Anita has been involved with Lift+Love as a group leader for the Parents of Transgender/Non-Binary Kids group since 2021. She has found strength as she has connected with other parents who understand the pain points that exist for families striving to stay engaged in the LDS faith and also supportive of their kids’ identities. She believes very strongly that her first responsibility as a mother is to love her children the way that God loves them – fully and without reservation.
Connect with Anita on Instagram: @parenting_in_the_wilderness
Go here for offers mentioned in this episode:
Unlocking Your Voice™ 3 DAY SHIFT(free)
Unlocking Your Voice™ HYBRID GROUP registration.
Work with me 1:1 in my signature program (and get Unlocking Your Voice as a bonus)
QUESTIONS? Schedule a free Discover Coaching call here!
_________________________________________________
Please help the podcast grow by following, leaving a 5 star review on Spotify or Apple podcasts and sharing with friends. Connect with me at meaganskidmorecoaching.com.
GO HERE for other ways to work with me.
Beyond the Shadow of Doubt™ is a proud member of the Dialogue Podcast Network found at DialogueJournal.com/podcasts. Part of the Dialogue Journal, the Dialogue Podcast Network was founded by Eugene England, a Mormon writer, teacher and scholar. “My faith encourages my curiosity and awe,” Gene wrote in the very first issue of the journal. “It thrusts me out into relationship with all creation” and “encourages me to enter into dialogue.” My hope is that this podcast is an extension of his vision.
Hopeful Spaces is a Dallas Hope Charities component of Hopeful Discussions, which is sponsored by Mercedes-Benz Financial Services USA. Hopeful Spaces is a monthly parent support group facilitated by Meagan Skidmore Coaching. To join Hopeful Spaces send an email to chc@dallashopecharities.org.
When I prayed over and over, the answer was always: love your kids. At first, I resisted. But eventually I realized that’s the only answer that matters.
As parents, the way we love shapes the way our kids see God. If we love conditionally, they may believe God does too. If we love without restraint, they begin to believe God does too.
Before, raising kids was about keeping commandments and checking boxes. After my paradigm shift, it became: connect with God.
This is also why separating doctrine from policies became important to me. Doctrine—truths from God—is not the same as man-made policies. Policies can change. Doctrine, for me, centers on Christ’s love.
The recent church policies on transgender and gender-nonconforming members felt like a punch in the face. They excluded my kids. They left no room for leaders to minister individually, no room for nuance.
Policies said: you can only attend Sunday school classes based on your assigned sex at birth. You can only use single-occupancy restrooms (if available). You can’t serve in certain callings. You can’t stay overnight at youth conferences. These don’t create safety. They create exclusion.
And the painful irony is: protections for children already exist. We already have two-deep leadership and safeguards. These new policies target LGBTQ+ members, reinforcing suspicion and distrust.
What my kids need isn’t exclusion—it’s connection. They need to know they are loved, safe, and that God cares for them exactly as they are.
When people say being LGBTQ+ is a choice, I ask: why would anyone choose something that invites judgment, exclusion, and pain? It’s not a choice. It’s who they are.
What I want for my kids is the same as what I want for myself—for them to live authentically, to belong to themselves first, and to find love and acceptance in community.
To allies: step closer. Treat LGBTQ+ people as whole people. Ask pronouns respectfully, but also see the bigger picture—their talents, hobbies, and gifts. Stand with them when they’re excluded. Walk with them. Mourn with them. That’s what love looks like. That’s what Christ did.
For me, living beyond the shadow of doubt means living—not being defined by my doubts or questions. They’re part of my story, but they don’t define me.
And that’s the journey—rebuilding faith with Christ’s love at the center, parenting with unconditional love, and fighting for belonging.