Episode 129: PERPLEXITY, Stages of Faith Part 3

First the reminder, “the first thing I wanted to do is get away from the metaphor, or get away from the image of like, I’m in stage one and then I graduate to stage two and then I graduate to stage three. I didn’t want to have a hierarchy, an ascending scale, because it just felt like anytime you create a hierarchy, [it gives you, like we said this morning, how people who are in innocence look down on the fall. And people who are in the fall look back on people who are in innocence.] We always want to use any tool to look down on people. So what seemed more helpful for me is to use the metaphor of a tree. You start with a tree that just has one little ring, and then a new ring grows out from that, and a new ring grows out from that. The new ring does not replace the old ring. It depends on the old ring. It builds on the old ring. It includes it and transcends it. It includes it and grows beyond it.” Faith Matters #185 “your faith isn’t broken” restore 2023 Moving into a Stage 3 faith is, in Brian’s words [pg54], “when some feel so stuck, so trapped, and so stagnant they decide to burn down the whole structure. On their way out of the burning building, many grab for some mementos of faith to save. Others barely make it out alive, saving nothing but their lives.” That resonates. So if you recall the examples I mentioned in Ep #126. And hopefully you’ve listened to that episode first. If not, go back and listen to parts 1 ep #124 and 2 ep# 126 Some one at a stage 2 faith would take the proposed scenarios placing “blame” or fault on the individuals – weren’t going to church, so got married outside the faith; or were not following the word of wisdom/commandments so got an addiction; weren’t being obedient got pregnant; not attending temple/sinagogue/mass enough, got divorced. Whereas the stage 3 person of faith sees things a little differently. They starts to see the situation on a larger grander scale- they are able to zoom out and look outside of themselves, and the organization and see a bigger picture, one that is potentially missing pieces, or has missed truths or misinterpreted concepts. The stage 3 person of faith is able to say wait a second. What might I be missing here? What part of the story is outside of my scope that I don’t have access to yet? They are able to not just acknowledge but absolutely not look away from things that could contribute to the scenario. Things like abuse could play a role, or socio-economic status, or familial background/influence, one’s race/ethnicity, or the educational opportunities they were or were not afforded. But above all, a Stage 3 faith realizes it is not your duty, place or position to judge and the christ-like things to do is love. Summarizing and quoting from FAD chart 6 starting around pg 61, “Real life, they (persons in stage two faith) realized is more mysterious, less formulaic, and more messy than [sermons abt 3 easy steps to marital bliss, or 5 certain cures for depression or 7 keys to biblical prosperity] that. Stage two feels a little shallow, a little fake, and they’re craving depth and honesty. Pg 63 “This quest for honesty and depth burns like a fire in the belly and baptizes people into Stage 3: Perplexity. Folks in Stage 3 feel life is more than simple and more than complex: it’s downright mysterious, downright perplexing.” Pg 64 “…questions glow like hot embers in their hearts and many unsettled believers in Stage 2 faith communities feel increasingly desperate for something, anything beyond dualistic simplicity and pragmatic complexity. (It is often found ) in the form of books, podcasts, online chatrooms, classes, conferences or grad programs rather than actual flesh-and-blood spiritual communities.” Pg 66 “For people who have outgrown stages 1 & 2 and who find themselves in the dynamic space of Stage 3, doubt an d its cousins of deconstruction, suspicion and relativism are not enemies to be kept at bay: they are doorways to insight and liberation. It is only by doubting institutions, authority figures, mission statements, limited perspectives, group-think, and the like that why can discover the inconvenient truths that are being careful hidden on behalf of some individual or group’s self-interest.” It is this doubting of limited perspectives that sent me on my pivot in my faith journey. When it came to lgbtq identity of my child, and the messages I had received all my life it just wasn’t adding up. I know what it is like to feel the guidance of the spirit (or the Divine, however you say it) and I knew deep inside, I knew that it felt off, that there was something that was missing. Wrapping up, at the restore conf Brian said this of stage 3 “you feel that all is subjective and deconstructible, and life is a protest of these hypocrisies and oversimplifications. And I’m trying to find truth and honesty and at least the amount of humility necessary to admit that I don’t know everything. in Perplexity, I find meaning not in the group I used to belong to, but in the presence of a group of similarly alienated people. Because I’m looking for people who give me space to think and be different and wonder and have questions. When I started on this journey several years ago (2019), this is what I desperately needed, wanted desired – to have a safe space to think and be different and wonder and have questions. Initially I really resisted entering into what I now know is a stage 3 faith. I made it mean a lot of things about me as a person of faith, a believer, a parent, and so on. However, I felt God nudging me to start this podcast and in the beginning the thought gave me great pause! It was way out of my comfort zone. It took me about a year to act on it and I’m so glad I did. I truly feel through this podcast, I’ve been able to make meaningful connections, have deeply stirring discussions, and build a community of sorts where guests, listeners alike can share their stories and feel seen and heard. I hope you have been able to experience this for yourself. Maybe you want to come on and be a guest and share your story. But for now, that is all of this episode. Make sure to subscribe in order to be notified first when future episodes publish. And while you’re at it, it would mean the world to me if you would take a moment to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Thanks for joining, until next time!