Episode 100: The year of discomfortable 2023

Meagan Skidmore:
Welcome back to Beyond the Shadow of Doubt.

Today’s episode is a little bit different — it’s just me, sharing reflections from what I’ve come to call “the year of uncomfortable.”

2023 was the year of discomfort. That was my word of the year — chosen intentionally back in January of 2023.

Here’s what I wrote then:

“Time to normalize that it’s not a problem to feel discomfort. The only time it is, is when you make it a problem. This year I’m leaning in hard to all things discomfort — until they become discomfortable.”

And, true to my word, I have consciously pushed myself from my comfort zone into the zone of discomfort — significant discomfort.

Listening to Myself

I’ve learned to listen to myself more — to notice when I need to step back, give myself time and space, and, alternatively, when it’s time to push.

And wow, did I push this year.

Things I Accomplished in the Zone of Discomfort

I signed up for the Advanced Relationship Trauma Certification with Lindsay Poelman.
That one stretched me more than anything else this year. I had to process my own trauma as part of the certification — and that was hard. Honestly, it’s one of the most difficult experiences I’ve had to date. But the healing that came with it? You can’t put a price on that.

I also began inviting guests to be interviewed on my podcast — my very first one was back in February 2023 — and I actually published those interviews.

I did a giveaway to encourage podcast reviews (shoutout to Kim Crump for winning!). Asking people directly to leave reviews was very much outside my comfort zone.

I joined Outside the Story with Coach and Kim in April. During that program, I had a big aha moment. I got brave and started inviting guests who, at first, felt out of reach. I did it anyway — and my podcast grew, as did my confidence.

I shared more openly with my best friend in Vegas about my faith journey. That wasn’t easy. As my eyes have opened to things I hadn’t seen before, my perspective has shifted — and that can make other people uncomfortable. But I’ve learned I’m only in charge of my emotions. It’s okay for others to feel whatever they feel.

I attended the Gather Conference in September, even while experiencing a significant loss of hope at the time. I volunteered with Livier Mendoza Haynes and connected with so many wonderful people — several of whom, like Liv, Kirk, and Marly, later came on my podcast.

I enrolled in Story Coaching Certification with Coach and Kim.

I interviewed our local high school counselor — yes, in a small conservative southern town — for my podcast. No stress there! Laughs That one will publish soon.

I agreed to be interviewed by Autumn McAlpin for Latter-day Lesbian. That was incredibly vulnerable. I shared my story in more detail than I ever had before. Autumn is a great interviewer, but knowing that over 23,000 people follow L&L on Instagram? Let’s just say, that came with a lot of discomfort.

A month later, I was interviewed by Richard Ostler on the Listen, Learn, and Love podcast — which gets about 20–30,000 downloads per episode. I felt really good about it overall, but it was also very uncomfortable. I sat with a vulnerability hangover for about three weeks after it aired.

I received feedback from a client — the kind that’s honest and direct — and I accepted it. (Thank you, Lizzie.)

I honored my nervous system by not attending church in person for the last two months of the year, and instead joining via Zoom. That wasn’t an easy decision, but it was what I needed for my mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

And lastly — but certainly not least — I’m learning to love myself exactly where I’m at.
I tend to feed my emotions (literally), and my physical health has taken a hit. I’m learning, in real time, that you can’t loathe yourself into better health. Love is the only thing that can do that.

And let me tell you — that’s uncomfortable. Diet culture is deeply ingrained. Loving myself as I am is a work in progress.

What I Learned

Here’s what I’ve learned:
I can feel a lot of discomfort — and not die.
I can feel significant emotion — and get through to the other side.

When I push myself while also honoring my nervous system — meaning not pushing so far that I shut down — there’s tremendous growth to be had.

And next time, leaning into discomfort feels… well, less uncomfortable. Maybe even discomfortable. I won’t say it’s comfortable. Laughs

Looking Ahead

So what’s my word for 2024? How did I choose it?
Good question.

I’ll be sharing all about that in my First Fridays Free Coaching Session, the first Friday of January at noon CST.
The link to join is in the show notes. You do need to register and sign the confidentiality agreement to participate.

For now, I want to leave you with wise words from Master Coach and founder of the Life Coach School, Brooke Castillo:

“Discomfort is the currency of your dreams.”

And have I learned how true that is.

I’ve also learned that on the other side of discomfort is self-trust.
That was also something Brooke and the LCS team shared recently — and it’s stuck with me deeply.

A Challenge for You

Have you chosen a word of the year?
I highly recommend it.

Countless times throughout 2023 — when I felt self-doubt, fear, anxiety, worry, concern, that nagging “not enough” — I remembered my commitment to discomfort. I chose to feel those emotions, to metabolize them, move through them, and lean hard into them… until they became “discomfortable.”

And I can honestly say — my capacity to feel uncomfortable emotions has increased significantly. I can’t measure it, but things that used to bring fear or worry just don’t take up the same mental, emotional, or spiritual space anymore.

That’s the beauty of coaching and self-coaching.

Here’s to trailblazing new pathways.
Here’s to 2024.

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Take a moment to subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review on Apple Podcasts.

Thanks for joining me — and until next time!