Episode 76: Halloween Scaries: Things that go bump in the night on a faith journey

Hey y’all — welcome back to the Beyond the Shadow of Doubt podcast.
I love Halloween, so I decided to do something fun this month — a short series called Halloween Scaries: Things That Go Bump in the Night on a Faith Journey.

Let’s start here…

So much of how we see the world — how we think, act, believe, and even fear — is passed down to us.
Not just in the obvious ways, like through our upbringing or what we were taught growing up…
but quite literally through our DNA.

In learning about epigenetics, I discovered that aspects of who we are — our emotional tendencies, our stress responses, even parts of our worldviews — can be inherited. Passed down from our parents, our grandparents, their lived experiences… all encoded and carried forward.

Now, this isn’t a science episode, so I’ll leave it at that. But I find that fascinating — and it matters for where we’re going today.

Binary Thinking: The Original Monster Under the Bed

Tradition, culture, religion, family, geography — all of these shape what I call our binary brain:
the way we see life as either/or.
Black or white.
Right or wrong.
Us versus them.

Even as humanity evolves, learns, and gains new knowledge, letting go of that “all-or-nothing” mindset can feel… well, scary.

Why? Because it means letting go of certainty.
And as humans, we crave certainty. It feels safe — even when it’s not.

So yes, fear keeps us there.
Fear of what we don’t know. Fear of uncertainty.
Fear of being wrong about something we once felt so sure about.

What’s So Scary About Questions?

Here’s the truth:
At this stage in my life, I have way more questions than answers.

If you asked me right now, “What do you actually know?”
Here’s what I’d tell you.

I know I have a mind, a body, and a soul.
I can feel that distinction inside me — I know when I’m thinking, when I’m feeling, when I’m connecting.
I know my experiences change me.
I know emotions move through my body like energy — they can be felt, processed, and released.
And I know that as I strengthen each layer — my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health — I expand the depth and width of my soul.

It’s all connected.
When one grows, the others do too.

Zooming Out the Lens

For my fellow Aerosmith fans — I really don’t want to miss a thing.
I want to absorb it all — the lessons, the laughter, the messy middle, the mystery.

But here’s the catch:
You can’t experience the fullness of life if your lens is zoomed in so tight that all you see is the fear or the familiar.

Sometimes we forget: our lens is adjustable.
We can zoom out.
We can choose a wider view — one that holds both/and instead of either/or.

And when we do, we realize something powerful:
Every event leading up to this exact moment on your timeline is meaningful.
But none of it defines you.

You get to define you.

The Real Connection

I’m blessed with incredible family and loved ones — some by blood, some chosen.
And through those relationships, those deep conversations and honest exchanges, I feel what’s real.

I know what it feels like to walk outside and feel the air move across my skin.
To feel the rain, to look up at the sky and sense the Divine in everything in between.

As an empath, I’ve learned through trial, error, and awareness to listen to that inner voice — that inner knowing.
It’s taken practice, but I’ve learned to trust it.
That’s something I know.

What I Know Right Now

My mentor, Kim from Coach and Kim — the creator of the Outside the Story program (which I’m actually doing for the second time right now — it’s that powerful) — shared something recently that really stuck with me.

She said:

“One of the main reasons we came to earth and gained a body was to feel our emotions — to process them and to heal. That’s part of our spiritual development and growth.”

That resonates with me so deeply.
Because that’s exactly what I’ve learned over the past four and a half years:
We came here to learn how to love.

The first two great commandments teach us this —
to love God with all our heart, might, mind, and strength,
and to love our neighbor as ourselves.

But if we don’t love ourselves, how can we love others — or God, or the Universe, or whatever name you give that higher power?

Love is an emotion.
Love is a feeling.
Love is what heals.
It’s the force that transforms us, the source of growth and expansion.

This Is What I Help My Clients Do

As a trauma-informed coach, my work centers on this very thing:
helping people feel again.
To not only allow emotions but to metabolize and heal through them.

We do deep identity work — examining the stories you’ve written about yourself, the ones hiding in your self-talk.
We find your top 3–5 Core Values, so that when you face uncertainty — when your beliefs shift, when your foundation trembles — you have a compass.

Because even if you land on the same beliefs you started with, the process of questioning, choosing, and integrating them creates growth you can’t get any other way.

Life Outside the Binary

This is why I created my signature program: Life Outside the Binary.

When you live life outside the binary, you experience an awakening —
you see for yourself that the world isn’t all black and white.
You get to choose which stories still align with who you’re becoming,
and release the ones that don’t.

In our 1:1 sessions, my role is to guide, invite, and curate a safe space for you to take those leaps of faith — to learn how to trust yourself again.
It takes work to expand your view beyond the 2D binary world we’ve been conditioned into.

Because the truth is — we’re not 2D beings.
We’re multidimensional, 4D souls living a human experience.

But that’s a topic for another day… maybe another spooky episode.

Closing Reflection

So as we wrap up this first Halloween Scaries episode,
I want to ask you:
What things go bump in the night for you on your faith journey?

Is it fear of questioning?
Of being wrong?
Of what others might think if you change?

Whatever it is — I see you.
And you’re not alone.