The Beyond the Shadow of Doubt™ podcast is a proud member of the Dialogue Podcast Network found at DialogueJournal.com/podcasts. Part of the Dialogue Journal, the Dialogue Podcast Network was founded by Eugene England, a Mormon writer, teacher and scholar. “My faith encourages my curiosity and awe,” Gene wrote in the very first issue of the journal. “It thrusts me out into relationship with all creation” and “encourages me to enter into dialogue.” My hope is that this podcast is an extension of his vision.
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Meagan:
Whether or not you’re currently going through a pivot in your faith journey, most assuredly you know someone who is.
And when someone we love experiences a shift in faith, it can be hard to know how to respond.
Today, I want to share a few tools that I’ve learned—ones that have helped me walk alongside friends, family, and loved ones on their own journeys.
The most important starting point is to use intentional listening skills.
That means:
Face the person and keep eye contact.
Refrain from interrupting, judging, or jumping to conclusions.
Check yourself—are you listening to respond, fix, or offer solutions? Or are you listening so that the other person feels heard?
Ask questions with curiosity, not correction.
Watch for nonverbal cues—averted eyes, low energy, tears, hesitation.
And most importantly—listen more than you speak.
Listening is powerful. It creates safety and connection.
But to go beyond listening, we can engage three layers of deeper connection: sympathy, empathy, and compassion.
Think of it as a head, heart, and hands approach.
Sympathy begins in the mind. It’s the awareness that someone is hurting.
It’s being able to say:
“That looks really hard.”
“I’m sorry you’re going through that.”
Sympathy acknowledges pain. You see someone in their struggle and recognize their humanity.
Empathy takes it a step further.
It’s when you feel some of the pain that another person is experiencing.
You might say:
“That sounds so painful. I can feel how hard that must be for you.”
Empathy is where we step into another person’s world. We connect not only with our minds, but with our hearts.
Compassion combines both sympathy and empathy, and adds action.
It says:
“I see your pain. I feel it with you. And I want to help.”
Compassion moves us to act—to reach out, to alleviate suffering, to walk with others.
Not behind them. Not ahead of them. With them.
In life coaching, I often use The Model as taught by The Life Coach School—sometimes known by the acronym CTFAR.
C – Circumstances: Neutral facts that are outside our control (like the weather, other people, or the past).
T – Thoughts: The sentences in our minds that give meaning to our circumstances.
F – Feelings: The emotions that arise from those thoughts—anger, sadness, joy, peace.
A – Actions: What we choose to do—or not do—based on our feelings.
R – Results: The outcomes we create through our actions or inactions.
When we apply this model to our relationships:
Sympathy lives on the T line (it begins with thought and awareness).
Empathy lives on the F line (it’s what we feel).
Compassion lives on the A line (it’s what we do).
Compassion is also the closest concept to what many faith traditions call charity—the pure love of Christ.
True charity doesn’t require us to pass judgment.
It doesn’t demand that we fix, control, or critique.
It doesn’t need fear, worry, or anxiety to motivate it.
It simply loves.
It sees others the way God sees them—perfect, messy, beautiful humans.
To love with a deeper, fuller, wider love.
Scripture teaches us:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, might, mind, and strength.”
“And love your neighbor as yourself.”
Over time, I’ve learned that if I don’t truly love myself, I will struggle to love others—or even to love God.
Self-love isn’t selfish. It’s the foundation that allows us to extend real sympathy, genuine empathy, and active compassion.
As I’ve deepened my love for myself, my capacity to love others—every single member of the human family—has grown too.
And in that process, I think I’ve caught just a tiny glimpse of Divine love.